When a man’s wife talks down on him, it can have a negative impact on his self-esteem and confidence. He may start to feel inadequate, unappreciated, and disrespected. This can lead to feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment towards his wife. It can also strain the relationship and create a toxic dynamic where communication breaks down and trust is eroded. In some cases, the man may withdraw emotionally or physically from the relationship, leading to further distance and unhappiness. It is important for both partners to communicate openly and respectfully in order to address any issues and work towards a healthier and more supportive relationship.
There are many factors that can contribute to a man’s happiness in his marriage. Some of these include:
Communication: Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. A man will feel happy and fulfilled in his marriage when he can openly express his thoughts, feelings, and needs to his partner, and when his partner listens and responds in a supportive and understanding way.
Respect: Feeling respected by his partner is essential for a man’s happiness in marriage. This includes respecting each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality.
Support: A man will feel happy in his marriage when he feels supported by his partner in both good times and bad. This can include emotional support, encouragement, and being there for each other through challenges and successes.
Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy are important aspects of a happy marriage for many men. Feeling connected and close to their partner through affection, intimacy, and shared experiences can contribute to their overall happiness.
Trust: Trust is a foundational element of a healthy marriage. A man will feel happy when he can trust his partner and rely on them to be honest, loyal, and dependable.
Shared values and goals: Having shared values, goals, and interests can help strengthen the bond between a man and his partner. When they are aligned in their values and working towards common goals, it can create a sense of unity and purpose in the relationship.
Overall, a man’s happiness in his marriage is often influenced by feeling loved, respected, supported, and connected to his partner in a meaningful way. It is important for both partners to actively work on nurturing their relationship and prioritizing each other’s happiness and well-being.
Separation and divorce can have a significant impact on children, both emotionally and psychologically. Some potential effects include:
Emotional distress: Children may experience feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and anxiety as a result of their parents’ separation or divorce. They may also feel a sense of loss and abandonment.
Behavioral problems: Children may exhibit changes in behavior, such as acting out, aggression, withdrawal, or regression. They may also have difficulty concentrating in school or engaging in social activities.
Academic difficulties: The stress of their parents’ separation or divorce can impact children’s academic performance and motivation. They may struggle to focus on their schoolwork and may experience a decline in grades.
Relationship issues: Children may have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships with others, including peers, family members, and romantic partners. They may also struggle with trust issues and fear of abandonment.
Health problems: The stress of their parents’ separation or divorce can impact children’s physical health, leading to issues such as headaches, stomachaches, and sleep disturbances.
Long-term effects: Children of divorced parents may be at a higher risk of experiencing mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, later in life. They may also have a higher likelihood of experiencing their own relationship difficulties and divorce in the future.
It is important for parents to provide support and reassurance to their children during this challenging time, and to seek professional help if needed to help their children cope with the effects of separation and divorce.
There are several individuals in the Bible who are mentioned as being divorced. Here are a few examples:
King Solomon: In the Old Testament, King Solomon had many wives and concubines, which was against God’s commandments. It is likely that some of these relationships ended in divorce.
King Ahasuerus: In the book of Esther, King Ahasuerus divorces his queen, Vashti, after she refuses to obey his command to appear before him and his guests. Now, King Ahasuerus have no intentions of divorcing Vashti if not because of her disrespect towards him and the suggestions of his chiefs as it was said in Est 1:13-22; “Then the king said to the wise men who understood the times (for this was the king’s manner toward all who knew law and justice, those closest to him being Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media, who had access to the king’s presence, and who ranked highest in the kingdom): “What shall we do to Queen Vashti, according to law, because she did not obey the command of King Ahasuerus brought to her by the eunuchs?” And Memucan answered before the king and the princes: “Queen Vashti has not only wronged the king, but also all the princes, and all the people who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. For the queen’s behavior will become known to all women, so that they will despise their husbands in their eyes, when they report, ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in before him, but she did not come.’ This very day the noble ladies of Persia and Media will say to all the king’s officials that they have heard of the behavior of the queen. Thus there will be excessive contempt and wrath. If it pleases the king, let a royal decree go out from him, and let it be recorded in the laws of the Persians and the Medes, so that it will not be altered, that Vashti shall come no more before King Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she. When the king’s decree which he will make is proclaimed throughout all his empire (for it is great), all wives will honor their husbands, both great and small.” And the reply pleased the king and the princes, and the king did according to the word of Memucan. Then he sent letters to all the king’s provinces, to each province in its own script, and to every people in their own language, that each man should be master in his own house, and speak in the language of his own people.” A Wife that disrespect the Husband either in public or private the automatically lost her place to another Lady. She will be replaced either emotionally or physically.
Hosea: The prophet Hosea was instructed by God to marry a woman named Gomer, who was unfaithful to him. Despite her infidelity, Hosea continued to love her and take her back, symbolizing God’s love for his unfaithful people.
Jesus: In the New Testament, Jesus speaks about divorce in the context of the Pharisees questioning him about the legality of divorce. He emphasizes the importance of marriage and the sanctity of the marital bond. In Matt 19:8-9 Jesus Christ said; “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Another translation says; Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan. I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.”
These examples show that divorce was not uncommon in biblical times, and that the Bible addresses the topic of divorce and the complexities of human relationships.
In the Bible, there are several individuals who are mentioned as having multiple wives. Some examples include:
King Solomon: King Solomon is perhaps the most well-known figure in the Bible who had many wives. According to the Bible, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
King David: King David, known for his victory over Goliath and his reign as king of Israel, had multiple wives as well. One of his most famous wives was Bathsheba, with whom he had a son named Solomon.
Abraham: In the Old Testament, Abraham is said to have had multiple wives and concubines. His wives included Sarah, Hagar, Keturah, and others.
In the Quran, polygamy is allowed under certain conditions, and there are several individuals mentioned as having multiple wives. Some examples include:
Prophet Muhammad: Prophet Muhammad is said to have had multiple wives, with a total of 11 wives over the course of his life. Each marriage had specific circumstances and reasons behind it.
Prophet Solomon (Sulaiman): In Islamic tradition, Prophet Solomon is also mentioned as having multiple wives, similar to the account in the Bible.
It is important to note that the practice of polygamy was more common in ancient times and in certain cultures, and it is not as prevalent today in many societies. Both the Bible and the Quran provide guidance on the practice of polygamy and emphasize the importance of treating all wives with fairness and justice.
Both Jesus Christ and the Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of love, respect, and mutual care in a marriage relationship. Here are some teachings from both figures on how a couple should treat each other:
Teachings of Jesus Christ:
Love and respect: Jesus taught that husbands and wives should love and respect each other. In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9), emphasizing the sanctity of marriage.
Selflessness and sacrifice: Jesus taught the importance of selflessness and sacrifice in relationships. In the Gospel of John, Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13), highlighting the sacrificial nature of love.Forgiveness and reconciliation: Jesus emphasized the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation in relationships. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches his followers to pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12), underscoring the need for forgiveness in relationships.
Teachings of Prophet Muhammad:
Kindness and compassion: Prophet Muhammad taught that spouses should treat each other with kindness and compassion. He said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife” (Tirmidhi), highlighting the importance of treating one’s spouse well.
Communication and understanding: Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of communication and understanding in a marriage. He said, “The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are the best to their women” (Tirmidhi), emphasizing the importance of good character and treatment of women.
Equality and partnership: Prophet Muhammad taught that husbands and wives should be partners in their marriage, working together and supporting each other. He said, “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives” (Tirmidhi), highlighting the importance of equality and mutual respect in a marriage.
Overall, both Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad taught that a couple should treat each other with love, respect, kindness, and compassion, and should strive to build a strong and healthy relationship based on mutual understanding and support.
Please, note that the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to let people go when they want to go. No chasing. No begging. Let it hurt, and then let it heal. When we stop forcing people to choose us, we make room for the people that are made for us. Allow yourself to embrace the natural flow of relationships. Understand that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. By letting go, you respect their journey as well as your own. It creates a space for mutual respect and genuine connections. Trusting the right people will come into your life at the right time. Focus on self-growth and nurturing the relationships that are reciprocated. In this way, you communicate with the community that truly values you and supports you. Every ending is a new beginning in disguise. Embrace change with an open heart. An unwavering faith in the journey ahead. Let it go with grace paves the way for a deeper more meaningful connection in the future.
In conclusion, please note that the majority of us get disappointed in life, not because people disappointed us but because we disappoint ourselves and we seek someone to take a fall for the very thing that is eating us deep inside that we cannot express or even know that it is there eating us up.
The majority of us had already been heartbroken long before we met that one person we considered so special and meant the whole world to us. Meeting the person brings about a whole new experience and feelings about life and ourselves. And because the new feeling is so sweet and emotionally intriguing we thought the old feelings were gone and we now exist in the new world of love and magic not knowing that we’re simply working in self-denial, storing up atomic elements that could explode at any moment if cares are not taken.
The majority of us had already been damaged long before we met that one person who made us believe that we meant the whole world to him/her; not knowing that what we seek is the very thing the person is also in search of, love, acceptability, belongings and above all care. What our parents could not make available for us as a child we seek in the one we give our heart to as an adult, with the hope that the person will cherish it, adore it and keep it safe. Nothing knowing that the person is as damaged as we are and is seeking for the very same thing we lack as a child and we’re seeking for as an adult.
While our needs as a child remain with us and are eaten up on the inside, the demand for being an adult sets in and in some cases, some of us never had the opportunity to be a Teen not to talk of being a Youth before becoming a Parent. Unintentionally we became parents and found ourselves repeating the same circles of circumstances that our parents found themselves in which led us to where we today. Even those who intentionally became parents found themselves in the same circumstances because it’s a wound in the heart not the heart of the wounds.
Nothing heals a broken heart faster than self-love. Nothing keeps your heart together and makes it whole than self-love. Nothing gives you more joy and brings you unending happiness than self-love. Nothing sets you on the trajectory of life more than self-love. Loving someone when you have not truly known yourself and love yourself is equipping yourself to become an atomic bomb that can explode at any time either in jealousy, abuse of your spouse, body shaming others, thinking, believing and feeling that you’re not good enough and someone else is better than you. The very reasons why so many people live a competitive life instead of a complimentary life.
My dear friend, the majority of us have been broken and heartbroken long before we met the individuals we blamed for breaking our hearts. The same people we’re blaming for breaking our hearts are likely to be blaming us for breaking their hearts too. But the truth is, the individuals we blamed for breaking our hearts only revealed the state of our hearts to us they never broke our hearts, our hearts had already been broken long before we met them.
We should always have it at the back of our hearts that the persons we are blaming for breaking our hearts are victims of the same thing we were victims of as a child and the very love, care and acceptance we seek from them is the very thing they also are seeking from us; but we’re too carried away with what we want and forget to pay attention to what our partner/spouse needs; we get bitter about it, ready to rain fire, storms and hailstones if and when we don’t have it. We need to take things easy on our parents/spouses.
Friends, we and our partner/spouse are just two broken individuals coming together to make a life while bonding on artificial beliefs of love, submission and marriage. A false belief that is potential enough to deepen our pains and leave us destructive, depressed and decompose.
If you are yet to be married and no one is looking at you or wondering you for marriage, stop looking for who to love you and start loving yourself. Love attracts love. Loving yourself will one day lead you to meet someone so much in love with himself/herself to love someone else. Remember, we cannot give what we don’t have.
If you are married already and the love that brought you together has turned to hatred that is pulling you apart, start loving yourself. Love yourself so much that your spouse will have no other choice than to notice that something has shifted in you that made you far better than you used to be. Remember, only a changed person can effect a change in real-time.
If you are separated/divorced and you still believe in marriage and desire to be married again, you should start loving yourself now and forget about seeking someone to love you. Take time off for self-evaluation and self-examination. Nothing happens in life by accident. It is either destiny, self-fault, ignorance or attack from the enemy. Looking inward and taking precise actions will only help us not to make the same mistake again and again.
God will help us all. Enjoy your day.
Sam Adeoye
