It was clearly stated in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 that “If a man desires the office of a bishop, he desires a good work.

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, able to teach; not given to wine, not an attacker, not greedy of filthy illegal gain; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; one that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) not a novice, lest being lifted with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

It Is a Man who desires the title of a Bishop who is required and mandatory to marry one Wife. If you don’t desire to be a. Bishop and you can take care of the number of Wives you desire to have you are at liberty to marry as many Women as you can care for and love equally. That I doubt because Jesus himself said that you cannot love two people equally. You’ll surely love one more than the other.

I love one thing about Muslims when it comes to the issue of having multiple marriages. In Islam, men are allowed to marry up to four wives, as long as they can treat each wife fairly and equally. This practice is known as polygamy. However, it is important to note that polygamy is not a requirement in Islam, but rather a permission granted under certain circumstances.

Muslims believe that polygamy is allowed in Islam as a way to provide for widows and orphans, to protect women who may not be able to find a suitable husband otherwise, and to address other social and economic issues. It is also believed that polygamy can help maintain family stability and harmony in certain situations.

However, it is emphasized in Islam that a man must treat all of his wives with fairness, kindness, and respect. If a man is unable to do so, he is advised to marry only one wife. Additionally, a woman has the right to consent to a polygamous marriage, and she can include conditions in the marriage contract to protect her rights and ensure fair treatment.

Muslims believe that polygamy is a permissible practice in Islam, but it should be approached with caution and consideration for the well-being of all parties involved.

Even though some Christians leaders made us to believe that polygamy is wrong, I think that the question of whether polygamy is wrong is subjective and can vary depending on cultural, religious, and personal beliefs. In some societies and religions, polygamy is accepted and practiced, while in others it is considered unethical or immoral.

From a legal perspective, polygamy is illegal in many countries around the world due to concerns about gender equality, women’s rights, and the potential for exploitation and abuse within polygamous relationships. Critics of polygamy argue that it can lead to unequal power dynamics, jealousy, and emotional harm among spouses and children.

On the other hand, proponents of polygamy argue that it can provide financial and emotional support to multiple partners and their children, and that it can be a valid choice for consenting adults in certain circumstances.

Ultimately, whether polygamy is considered wrong or not is a matter of personal belief and perspective. It is important to consider the rights and well-being of all individuals involved in polygamous relationships and to ensure that all parties are treated with fairness, respect, and dignity.

Some of our Patriarchs of faith are Men of many wives…

Abraham had three wives mentioned in the Bible. His first wife was Sarah, who was also his half-sister (Genesis 20:12). Sarah was unable to bear children for many years, so she gave her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham as a concubine. Hagar bore Abraham a son named Ishmael (Genesis 16:1-16). Later, Sarah miraculously conceived and gave birth to Isaac, who was the child of promise (Genesis 21:1-7). He later married Keturah following the death of Sarah, his first wife (Genesis 23:2; 25:1).

Jacob – Jacob had two wives, Leah and Rachel, as well as their handmaids, Bilhah and Zilpah (Genesis 29:15-30).

Moses had two wives mentioned in the Bible. His first wife was Zipporah, the daughter of Jethro, a Midianite priest (Exodus 2:21). Moses married Zipporah after fleeing Egypt and living in Midian for some time. They had two sons together, Gershom and Eliezer (Exodus 18:3-4).

There is also a mention of another wife of Moses in the Bible, but her name is not specified. In Numbers 12:1, it is mentioned that Moses’ sister, Miriam, and brother, Aaron, criticized Moses for marrying a Cushite woman. Some interpretations suggest that this Cushite woman could have been a second wife of Moses, but the details are not explicitly provided in the text.

King David – King David had multiple wives, including Michal, Abigail, Bathsheba, and others (2 Samuel 3:2-5).

King Solomon – According to the Bible, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3).

Gideon – Gideon had many wives and concubines (Judges 8:30).

Elkanah – Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah (1 Samuel 1:1-2).

Esau – Esau had multiple wives, including Judith, Basemath, and Mahalath (Genesis 26:34).

Lamech – Lamech, a descendant of Cain, had two wives, Adah and Zillah (Genesis 4:19-23).

These are individuals that God relate with one on one in their days and their impacts both in their generation and after their departure are still very much felt.
Not so many people will accept this and some married Ladies and religious bigotries will come for me, but take it or leave it, not every Lady will marry a single Man and not every Man will marry one Wife. We must understand the fact that life is about destiny, not religion or societal sentiments. If someone’s destiny is to marry a married Man and she’s running away from them she will be the one to suffer it. So also, if it is the destiny of a Man to marry more than one wife and he is sticking to one, he is the one that will suffer it and trust me, destiny has a way of dealing with us all and destiny will not stop until it becomes a reality. If the Wife does not leave, she might die and he will have no other choice than to remarry.

Yemi Akins Olakitan made a valid point on this when I posted a part of this article on Facebook. In his words, “I completely agree with the write up. Destinies defer and not everyone will marry one wife and not every woman will be first wife. There are many women in the church today, age 40 and 50 and there is no husband, no children. So, if a married man comes their way and ask for their hands in marriage, they should quote Bible and reject it? I don’t think so.

Destinies stand. Simply because sister Toke married at 23 to a single man does not mean sister Kemi will be so lucky, hence polygamy.

In the olden days, our women were always married because our fathers marry two or three. But today, what we find is that our men marry one wife but have 10 side chicks and 2 or 3 baby mama. There is nothing wrong with polygamy. Those that cannot cope with it should simply stick to monogamy, one wife. But those who can cope with the arrangement should go ahead. I don’t believe in the doomsday forecast about polygamy.

There are many monogamous marriage that are miserable. Many monogamous marriages ends in divorce. Marrying one wife is not a guarantee that one will have a successful marriage.”

My dear, if a married Man comes your way, grab him with your full chest and if as a Man marrying more than one Wife is your destiny, discuss it with your Wife and have an agreement, but most importantly, be sure that you can take care of her and her children, and your choice for doing so should not be for punishing your Wife or exhibit your ego. Have a good reason for your actions.

Please, note that the Bible does not explicitly condemn polygamy, as there are several instances of polygamous relationships among the patriarchs and kings in the Old Testament. However, it is important to note that the Bible also presents negative consequences and challenges associated with polygamy, such as jealousy, rivalry, and discord within families.

In the New Testament, the teachings of Jesus emphasize the importance of marriage as a union between one man and one woman. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus quotes from Genesis, stating, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This passage is often interpreted as promoting monogamous marriage. But in the true sense of things, it wasn’t God that said that in Genesis, it was Adam and that made the statement invalid. Second, Adam said “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Adam was not specifically made mentioned of the number of Wives, he simply said, “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Overall, while the Bible does not explicitly forbid polygamy, it is clear that the ideal model of marriage presented in the Bible is monogamous, based on the teachings of Jesus and the principles of love, unity, and faithfulness within marriage.
In John 4:16-18 Jesus says unto the woman by the well, Go, call your husband, and come here. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, You have well said, I have no husband: for you have had five husbands; and he whom you now have is not your husband: in that said you truly.

This is a Woman who had been married five times and the sixth one is not even married to her yet but they are living together and Jesus Christ still reffered to him as her husband. Let’s explain this.

Marriage is all about peace of mind, happiness and fulfillment. Until you get it you don’t settle down for just Anything because marriage to a troubled person can destroy your life.

Marriage is not paying the bride price on the Lady and the Lady paying dowry on the Man. Once a Man and a Lady live together and have sex together, marriage has already taken place. Marriage is an agreement not a ceremony.

The Woman was in her sixth marriage and Jesus Christ did not lash on her and call her names. Why? Because Jesus Christ understands what destiny is and since that was her destiny, judging her or condemning her decisions to be married multiple times is justified.

Some of our Pastors who are teaching against multiple Wives are products of a second or third Wife. Some are even products of twenty Wife. If their fathers stopped at one as they are preaching today, I’m so sure that the majority of them will never be born. Be wise.

Sam Adeoye

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Some marriages have children and the children are nothing but a disgrace to the parents and the Society at large, that is not a fruitful marriage. Some marriages have all the money, wealth and everything money can buy and yet no joy, no happiness, everyone in the marriage lives like a prisoner and slave; my friend, that is not a marriage, that is a prison yard.

A fruitful marriage cannot be defined by money even though money is important to some extent to survive and sustain the marriage in terms of feeding, clothing and taking care of bills.

A fruitful marriage Is a marriage where comfort, contentment and friendship reign. It’s a marriage where the Man and the Wife are comfortable being with each other and are ready and willing to support each other’s dreams and aspirations and never be in a competition against each other or trying to take advantage of one another.

A fruitful marriage Is a marriage where both the Man and his Wife are content with what they have and are managing their lives with it without any complaints of any kind while working towards a better tomorrow. It’s a marriage where teamwork works and never a boss and a subordinate. It’s a marriage where everyone takes care of everything and everyone, and no one necessarily cares about who does what or whose responsibility it is to do XYZ. A marriage where anything and everything is everyone’s responsibility. That is a fruitful marriage.

A fruitful marriage Is a marriage where the spirit of friendship reigns between the husband, the Wife and the children. A marriage where everyone is everyone’s friend. No enemies. No jealousy. No hatred. No backstabbing. No negativity of any kind but true friendship.

In such a marriage, you don’t pray for love to reign, love is already reigning and it will be impossible for the enemies to penetrate such a marriage because it is a marriage that is established and is standing on a sure foundation.

A fruitful marriage is not money, wealth or having children; neither is it something you can pray for, no you can’t. A fruitful marriage is a marriage you work at by working on yourself and not on your partner. When your partner notices the changes in you, he/she will either fall in or fall out either way, don’t push for it, just be yourself.

Having a fruitful marriage requires effort, communication, and commitment from both partners. Here are some tips to help you have a successful and fulfilling marriage:

Communicate openly and honestly: Communication is key in any relationship. Make sure to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs to your partner in a respectful and understanding manner.

Show appreciation and gratitude: Make sure to show your partner that you appreciate them and all that they do for you. Small gestures of kindness and gratitude can go a long way in strengthening your bond.

Spend quality time together: Make time for each other and prioritize your relationship. Plan regular date nights, take trips together, or simply spend quality time at home enjoying each other’s company.

Support each other: Be there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer support, encouragement, and understanding when they need it most.

Resolve conflicts peacefully: Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. Learn to resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully, without resorting to hurtful words or actions.

Keep the romance alive: Keep the spark alive in your marriage by continuing to show affection, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and keep the romance alive.

Work as a team: Remember that you and your partner are a team. Work together to overcome challenges, achieve goals, and build a strong and lasting relationship.

By following these tips and putting in the effort to nurture our marriage, we can have a fruitful and fulfilling relationship with our partner.

It Is an act of foolishness for anyone to believe that God will keep their marriage and make the marriage work without them doing all that is necessary and required on their part to make the marriage work, even when it’s falling apart. I guess this is one lie that religion and the hypocrites have taught us over the years. Read your Bible or Quran well if you cannot study it, even God cannot keep a marriage or make a marriage work. None of the people who diligently serve God have a successful marriage. If He could, Sarah wouldn’t have left Abraham. Abraham wouldn’t have ended up with Three Wives, Jacob with Four Wives, Moses with Two Wives, and David with Seventeen Wives and Two Hundred Sex partners, don’t even let me make mention of Solomon. None of the people God used in the Bible have a successful marriage. Isaac that have just one Wife ends up with a Wife to questions his decision and divides his home even turning the children against each other. Marriage will always fail once the motives for getting married are wrong. It is not God’s responsibility to keep your marriage, it is your responsibility. Neither is it Satan’s fault that your marriage could not old, it is your fault. When a sense of taking responsibility is lost or lacking in a marriage, then life becomes unbearable to live. If your marriage is not working, take responsibility for whatever it is and correct it. If it can no longer hold, take a walk before one person will kill the other. Wise up

Keeping your marriage strong and healthy requires ongoing effort and commitment from both partners. Here are some tips to help you maintain a happy and fulfilling marriage:

Communicate regularly: Make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Discuss your thoughts, feelings, and needs, and listen to your partner’s perspective as well.

Show appreciation: Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner regularly. Acknowledge their efforts and show them that you value and love them.

Spend quality time together: Make time for each other and prioritize your relationship. Plan activities that you both enjoy and create special moments together.

Keep the romance alive: Keep the spark alive in your marriage by continuing to show affection, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and keep the romance alive.

Support each other: Be there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer support, encouragement, and understanding when they need it most.

Resolve conflicts peacefully: Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. Learn to resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully, without resorting to hurtful words or actions.

Work as a team: Remember that you and your partner are a team. Work together to overcome challenges, achieve goals, and build a strong and lasting relationship.

Seek help when needed: If you are facing challenges in your marriage that you cannot resolve on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can help you navigate difficult issues and strengthen your relationship.

By following these tips and making a conscious effort to nurture your marriage, you can keep your relationship strong and fulfilling for years to come.

However, taking responsibility for the success of your marriage is crucial in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship; and there are so many ways one can take responsibility for the success of their marriage, such as:

Communication: Take the initiative to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Be willing to listen, express your thoughts and feelings, and work together to resolve conflicts.

Self-awareness: Take the time to reflect on your behaviour, attitudes, and actions within the relationship. Be willing to acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibility for them.

Commitment: Make a conscious effort to prioritize your marriage and invest time and effort into nurturing your relationship. Show your commitment to your partner through your actions and words.

Support: Be there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer emotional support, encouragement, and understanding when they need it most.

Respect: Treat your partner with respect and kindness. Be mindful of their feelings, opinions, and boundaries, and strive to create a safe and supportive environment in your relationship.

Growth mindset: Be open to learning and growing together as a couple. Be willing to adapt, compromise, and work through challenges to strengthen your relationship.

Seek help when needed: If you are facing difficulties in your marriage that you cannot resolve on your own, be proactive in seeking help from a therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and support in navigating complex issues.

By taking responsibility for the success of your marriage and actively working towards building a strong and healthy relationship, you can create a fulfilling and lasting partnership with your partner.

It Is important to bear in mind that in a marriage, it is the responsibility of both partners, the husband and the wife, to work together to keep the relationship strong and healthy. Both partners play a crucial role in nurturing the marriage and ensuring its success. And there are some key points to consider which include:

Mutual responsibility: Both partners should take equal responsibility for the success of the marriage. It is important for both the husband and the wife to actively contribute to the relationship, communicate openly, and support each other.

Communication: Effective communication is essential in any relationship. Both partners should be willing to listen, express their thoughts and feelings, and work together to resolve conflicts and challenges.

Support: Both partners should be there for each other, offering emotional support, encouragement, and understanding in times of need. It is important to show care and compassion towards each other.

Commitment: Both partners should be committed to the marriage and willing to invest time and effort into nurturing the relationship. It is important to prioritize the marriage and make it a priority in your life.

Respect: Both partners should treat each other with respect, kindness, and consideration. It is important to value each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries.

Collaboration: Both partners should work together as a team, making joint decisions, setting goals, and facing challenges together. It is important to support each other and work towards common objectives.

Ultimately, a successful marriage requires mutual effort, commitment, and collaboration from both partners. By working together and taking responsibility for the health and well-being of the relationship, the husband and wife can create a strong and fulfilling partnership.

It Is important for both husband and wife to feel safe and supportive in a marriage. But it’s so unfortunate that the majority of us still believe in this lie and falsehood that is of no use. Why support a Woman who cannot support you as a Man? Marriage is supposed to be both a Man’s and a Wife’s full responsibility to support one another and lead each other right.

Have we ever asked ourselves what happened to a marriage in a situation whereby the Man’s head is incorrect but the Wife’s head is well functioning and yet the Wife still wants him to act as her Man and be up and lead? That is a failed mission. If as a Man you are not capable of leading your family and your Wife is, let her lead. It is better that you marry a Lady who can support you and see you accomplishing your dreams than to settle down for one that will further destroy you.

Men, marry a Lady who can freely step in when you are incapacitated to lead, and Ladies, marry a Man who can help you birth your dreams into reality, not the one who will kill them. If your life is not moving forward after getting married to that Lady or that Man, then you are in prison not in a marriage.

Now, it is important to note that Ladies are not the only ones who are entitled to safety in a marriage. As you want to feel safe being with a Man, the Man also wants to feel safe being with you. The question is, while you are safe with him, is he also safe with you?

Feeling safe in a marriage is crucial for the health and well-being of both partners and the relationship as a whole. Here are some reasons why feeling safe in a marriage is important:

Emotional security: Feeling safe in a marriage provides emotional security and stability. It allows both partners to be vulnerable, express their thoughts and feelings openly, and trust that they will be supported and understood by their spouse.

Trust: Feeling safe in a marriage fosters trust between partners. When both partners feel safe and secure in the relationship, they are more likely to trust each other, communicate openly, and rely on each other for support.

Communication: Feeling safe in a marriage encourages open and honest communication. When partners feel safe expressing their thoughts, feelings and needs without fear of judgment or criticism, it creates a safe space for effective communication and problem-solving.

Conflict resolution: Feeling safe in a marriage enables partners to address conflicts and disagreements healthily and constructively. When both partners feel safe expressing their concerns and working through issues together, it promotes understanding, compromise, and resolution.

Physical safety: Feeling safe in a marriage also includes physical safety. Both partners should feel physically safe and secure in the relationship, free from any form of abuse, violence, or harm.

Emotional support: Feeling safe in a marriage allows partners to provide emotional support and comfort to each other. When partners feel safe and secure in the relationship, they are more likely to offer empathy, understanding, and encouragement during challenging times.

Overall, feeling safe in a marriage is essential for building a strong and healthy relationship. It creates a foundation of trust, communication, and support that allows both partners to thrive and grow together. Prioritizing emotional and physical safety in a marriage can lead to a fulfilling and lasting partnership.

Sam Adeoye

08037723

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So many people had been mentally destroyed. Most Men are facing serious mental issues without knowing it. The first major mental health issue of a man is societal dictation. People deciding for him how he should react and responding to issues in a given situation. This ideology is satanic, its barbaric and totally inhumane. While Ladies have the liberty to express themselves and their feelings, the men are made to absorb everything and say nothing because he is a man, even when he is hurting and losing his mind.

It is not healthy for a man to bottle up issues when being treated badly in a relationship/marriage . It is important for individuals to communicate their feelings and concerns in a relationship in order to address and resolve any issues that may be causing harm or distress. Bottling up emotions can lead to resentment, anger, and ultimately damage the relationship further. It is important for both partners to have open and honest communication in order to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship.

It can be frustrating and challenging when your partner is not listening or being helpful in resolving issues in the relationship. In this situation, it is important for the man to communicate openly and honestly with his partner about how he is feeling and the specific issues that need to be addressed. It may be helpful to seek couples therapy or counseling to work through the issues together with a neutral third party. Additionally, the man should take care of himself and prioritize his own well-being, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. Ultimately, if the relationship is consistently causing distress and the partner is not willing to work on resolving issues, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and consider if it is healthy and fulfilling for both parties.

It is important to recognize and respect that mental well-being is a crucial aspect of overall health and should be a priority for both partners in a relationship. However, it is also important for both partners to communicate openly and honestly about their needs and concerns in the relationship.

In a situation whereby the Wife or Wife to be prioritizes her mental well-being above the man’s mental well-being, then the man should have a conversation with his partner about how he is feeling and express his concerns about feeling neglected or not prioritized. It is important for both partners to listen to each other’s perspectives and work together to find a balance that meets both of their needs.

It may be helpful for the man to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to process his feelings and explore ways to cope with the situation. It is also important for the man to prioritize his own mental well-being and self-care, as taking care of oneself is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.

In the long run, if the partner consistently prioritizes her mental well-being above the man’s needs and the relationship becomes unbalanced or unhealthy, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship and consider if it is meeting both partners’ needs in a mutually fulfilling way.

Some Ladies however are of the habits of blocking their spouse or husband to be on Social Media over every minor issues; some Men do that as well. Now, if a man’s wife is repeatedly blocking him on Social Media especially on WhatsApp over minor issues, it is important for him to address the situation in a calm and respectful manner. Here are some steps he can take:

Communicate openly: The man should try to have a conversation with his wife to understand why she is blocking him on WhatsApp over minor issues. It is important to listen to her perspective and express his own feelings and concerns.

Seek professional help: If communication with his wife is not effective or if the issue persists, the man may consider seeking couples therapy or counseling to work through the underlying issues and improve communication in the relationship.

Set boundaries: The man should establish clear boundaries with his wife regarding communication and conflict resolution. It is important for both partners to respect each other’s feelings and find healthy ways to address disagreements.

Take care of himself: It is important for the man to prioritize his own well-being and self-care in this situation. He may seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to process his feelings and explore ways to cope with the challenges in the relationship.

Reassess the relationship: If the wife’s behavior continues to be harmful or if the relationship becomes toxic, the man may need to reassess the relationship and consider if it is healthy and fulfilling for both parties. It may be necessary to seek outside help or consider ending the relationship if necessary for his own well-being.

Some Ladies go a step further to form victim in a relationship/marriage. If a man’s wife consistently plays the victim in their relationship, it can be challenging and frustrating. Such situation must be address immediately to avoid further ruins on their relationship/marriage. I suggest you…

Communicate openly: The man should try to have a calm and honest conversation with his wife about how her behavior makes him feel. It is important to express his concerns and feelings in a non-confrontational manner and listen to her perspective as well.

Set boundaries: The man should establish clear boundaries with his wife regarding communication and conflict resolution. It is important for both partners to take responsibility for their actions and work towards finding solutions together.

Seek professional help: If communication with his wife is not effective or if the issue persists, the man may consider seeking couples therapy or counseling to work through the underlying issues and improve communication in the relationship.

Practice self-care: It is important for the man to prioritize his own well-being and self-care in this situation. He may seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to process his feelings and explore ways to cope with the challenges in the relationship.

Reassess the relationship: If the wife’s behavior continues to be harmful, or if the relationship becomes toxic, the man may need to reassess the relationship and consider if it is healthy and fulfilling for both parties. It may be necessary to seek outside help or consider ending the relationship if it is necessary for his own well-being.

Having a healthy relationship between a man and his wife is very important and there cannot be a healthy relationship without love, mutual trust and respect. In John 13:34 Jesus Christ said; “love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.’ Apostle Paul elaborate on this in Rom 13:8-10 saying, “Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Your closest neigbour is your spouse, love, respect, trust and him/her always because a healthy relationship between a man and his wife is characterized by mutual respect, trust, communication, support, and love; anything outside of these is never a relationship/marriage but a prison yard.

Communication: Open and honest communication is essential in a healthy relationship. Both partners should feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs, and actively listen to each other.

Respect: Respect for each other’s boundaries, opinions, and individuality is crucial in a healthy relationship. Both partners should treat each other with kindness, consideration, and empathy.

Trust: Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Both partners should trust each other, be reliable, and have faith in each other’s intentions and actions.

Support: Both partners should support each other emotionally, mentally, and physically. They should be each other’s cheerleaders, offering encouragement, comfort, and assistance when needed.

Equality: A healthy relationship is based on equality and mutual decision-making. Both partners should have an equal say in important matters and share responsibilities in the relationship.

Boundaries: Setting and respecting boundaries is important in a healthy relationship. Both partners should understand and respect each other’s boundaries, needs, and limits.

Quality time: Spending quality time together, engaging in activities that both partners enjoy, and nurturing the emotional connection are important aspects of a healthy relationship.

Conflict resolution: Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to resolve conflicts constructively, communicate effectively, and find solutions together.

Overall, a healthy relationship between a man and his wife is built on mutual respect, trust, communication, support, and love. Both partners should work together to nurture and strengthen their relationship, while also prioritizing their individual well-being and happiness.

Issues happens in relationship/marriage that sometimes frustrating to the point of the husband or the wife calling each other out using relegating words such as “stone-hearted”. There could be various reasons for this such as:

Lack of empathy: The man may feel that his wife is not empathetic or understanding towards his feelings and needs. She may appear cold or indifferent to his emotions, leading him to perceive her as “stone-hearted.”

Communication issues: If there are communication barriers or misunderstandings in the relationship, the man may feel that his wife is not receptive to his attempts to communicate or connect emotionally, making her seem unfeeling or distant.

Past hurts or unresolved issues: If there are unresolved conflicts or past hurts in the relationship, the man may perceive his wife as being emotionally closed off or unresponsive, leading him to describe her as “stone-hearted.”

Personality differences: Differences in emotional expression or communication styles between the man and his wife could contribute to his perception of her as “stone-hearted.” He may struggle to understand or connect with her emotional responses.

Mental health issues: If either partner is dealing with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, it could impact their emotional availability and responsiveness in the relationship, leading to feelings of emotional distance or detachment.

It is important for the man to communicate openly and honestly with his wife about his feelings and concerns in a respectful manner. Seeking couples therapy or counseling could also be beneficial in addressing underlying issues, improving communication, and strengthening the emotional connection in the relationship. Understanding each other’s perspectives and working together to address any issues can help foster a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

So many people are dealing with mental issues simply because their spouse are of the habits of wanting what they want and must have it at all cost. In Gal 5:19-21 Apostle Paul said; “It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community.

Your mental health is important in a relationship/marriage be it a husband or the wife, but if you cannot talk it out with your partner and reach a point of agreement where you both agree on what is acceptable and not acceptable then it is advisable that you reassess the worth of your life against that of your spouse and the marriage and decide what is best for you. A broken marriage is better than a broken life.

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Communication: Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. A man will feel happy and fulfilled in his marriage when he can openly express his thoughts, feelings, and needs to his partner, and when his partner listens and responds in a supportive and understanding way.

Respect: Feeling respected by his partner is essential for a man’s happiness in marriage. This includes respecting each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality.

Support: A man will feel happy in his marriage when he feels supported by his partner in both good times and bad. This can include emotional support, encouragement, and being there for each other through challenges and successes.

Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy are important aspects of a happy marriage for many men. Feeling connected and close to their partner through affection, intimacy, and shared experiences can contribute to their overall happiness.

Trust: Trust is a foundational element of a healthy marriage. A man will feel happy when he can trust his partner and rely on them to be honest, loyal, and dependable.

Shared values and goals: Having shared values, goals, and interests can help strengthen the bond between a man and his partner. When they are aligned in their values and working towards common goals, it can create a sense of unity and purpose in the relationship.

Overall, a man’s happiness in his marriage is often influenced by feeling loved, respected, supported, and connected to his partner in a meaningful way. It is important for both partners to actively work on nurturing their relationship and prioritizing each other’s happiness and well-being.

Separation and divorce can have a significant impact on children, both emotionally and psychologically. Some potential effects include:

Emotional distress: Children may experience feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and anxiety as a result of their parents’ separation or divorce. They may also feel a sense of loss and abandonment.

Behavioral problems: Children may exhibit changes in behavior, such as acting out, aggression, withdrawal, or regression. They may also have difficulty concentrating in school or engaging in social activities.

Academic difficulties: The stress of their parents’ separation or divorce can impact children’s academic performance and motivation. They may struggle to focus on their schoolwork and may experience a decline in grades.

Relationship issues: Children may have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships with others, including peers, family members, and romantic partners. They may also struggle with trust issues and fear of abandonment.

Health problems: The stress of their parents’ separation or divorce can impact children’s physical health, leading to issues such as headaches, stomachaches, and sleep disturbances.

Long-term effects: Children of divorced parents may be at a higher risk of experiencing mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, later in life. They may also have a higher likelihood of experiencing their own relationship difficulties and divorce in the future.

It is important for parents to provide support and reassurance to their children during this challenging time, and to seek professional help if needed to help their children cope with the effects of separation and divorce.

There are several individuals in the Bible who are mentioned as being divorced. Here are a few examples:

King Solomon: In the Old Testament, King Solomon had many wives and concubines, which was against God’s commandments. It is likely that some of these relationships ended in divorce.
King Ahasuerus: In the book of Esther, King Ahasuerus divorces his queen, Vashti, after she refuses to obey his command to appear before him and his guests. Now, King Ahasuerus have no intentions of divorcing Vashti if not because of her disrespect towards him and the suggestions of his chiefs as it was said in Est 1:13-22; “Then the king said to the wise men who understood the times (for this was the king’s manner toward all who knew law and justice, those closest to him being Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media, who had access to the king’s presence, and who ranked highest in the kingdom): “What shall we do to Queen Vashti, according to law, because she did not obey the command of King Ahasuerus brought to her by the eunuchs?” And Memucan answered before the king and the princes: “Queen Vashti has not only wronged the king, but also all the princes, and all the people who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. For the queen’s behavior will become known to all women, so that they will despise their husbands in their eyes, when they report, ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in before him, but she did not come.’ This very day the noble ladies of Persia and Media will say to all the king’s officials that they have heard of the behavior of the queen. Thus there will be excessive contempt and wrath. If it pleases the king, let a royal decree go out from him, and let it be recorded in the laws of the Persians and the Medes, so that it will not be altered, that Vashti shall come no more before King Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she. When the king’s decree which he will make is proclaimed throughout all his empire (for it is great), all wives will honor their husbands, both great and small.” And the reply pleased the king and the princes, and the king did according to the word of Memucan. Then he sent letters to all the king’s provinces, to each province in its own script, and to every people in their own language, that each man should be master in his own house, and speak in the language of his own people.” A Wife that disrespect the Husband either in public or private the automatically lost her place to another Lady. She will be replaced either emotionally or physically.

Hosea: The prophet Hosea was instructed by God to marry a woman named Gomer, who was unfaithful to him. Despite her infidelity, Hosea continued to love her and take her back, symbolizing God’s love for his unfaithful people.

Jesus: In the New Testament, Jesus speaks about divorce in the context of the Pharisees questioning him about the legality of divorce. He emphasizes the importance of marriage and the sanctity of the marital bond. In Matt 19:8-9 Jesus Christ said; “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Another translation says; Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan. I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.”

These examples show that divorce was not uncommon in biblical times, and that the Bible addresses the topic of divorce and the complexities of human relationships.

In the Bible, there are several individuals who are mentioned as having multiple wives. Some examples include:

King Solomon: King Solomon is perhaps the most well-known figure in the Bible who had many wives. According to the Bible, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

King David: King David, known for his victory over Goliath and his reign as king of Israel, had multiple wives as well. One of his most famous wives was Bathsheba, with whom he had a son named Solomon.

Abraham: In the Old Testament, Abraham is said to have had multiple wives and concubines. His wives included Sarah, Hagar, Keturah, and others.

In the Quran, polygamy is allowed under certain conditions, and there are several individuals mentioned as having multiple wives. Some examples include:

Prophet Muhammad: Prophet Muhammad is said to have had multiple wives, with a total of 11 wives over the course of his life. Each marriage had specific circumstances and reasons behind it.

Prophet Solomon (Sulaiman): In Islamic tradition, Prophet Solomon is also mentioned as having multiple wives, similar to the account in the Bible.

It is important to note that the practice of polygamy was more common in ancient times and in certain cultures, and it is not as prevalent today in many societies. Both the Bible and the Quran provide guidance on the practice of polygamy and emphasize the importance of treating all wives with fairness and justice.

Both Jesus Christ and the Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of love, respect, and mutual care in a marriage relationship. Here are some teachings from both figures on how a couple should treat each other:

Teachings of Jesus Christ:

Love and respect: Jesus taught that husbands and wives should love and respect each other. In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9), emphasizing the sanctity of marriage.

Selflessness and sacrifice: Jesus taught the importance of selflessness and sacrifice in relationships. In the Gospel of John, Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13), highlighting the sacrificial nature of love.Forgiveness and reconciliation: Jesus emphasized the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation in relationships. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches his followers to pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12), underscoring the need for forgiveness in relationships.

Teachings of Prophet Muhammad:

Kindness and compassion: Prophet Muhammad taught that spouses should treat each other with kindness and compassion. He said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife” (Tirmidhi), highlighting the importance of treating one’s spouse well.

Communication and understanding: Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of communication and understanding in a marriage. He said, “The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are the best to their women” (Tirmidhi), emphasizing the importance of good character and treatment of women.

Equality and partnership: Prophet Muhammad taught that husbands and wives should be partners in their marriage, working together and supporting each other. He said, “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives” (Tirmidhi), highlighting the importance of equality and mutual respect in a marriage.

Overall, both Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad taught that a couple should treat each other with love, respect, kindness, and compassion, and should strive to build a strong and healthy relationship based on mutual understanding and support.

Please, note that the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to let people go when they want to go. No chasing. No begging. Let it hurt, and then let it heal. When we stop forcing people to choose us, we make room for the people that are made for us. Allow yourself to embrace the natural flow of relationships. Understand that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. By letting go, you respect their journey as well as your own. It creates a space for mutual respect and genuine connections. Trusting the right people will come into your life at the right time. Focus on self-growth and nurturing the relationships that are reciprocated. In this way, you communicate with the community that truly values you and supports you. Every ending is a new beginning in disguise. Embrace change with an open heart. An unwavering faith in the journey ahead. Let it go with grace paves the way for a deeper more meaningful connection in the future.

In conclusion, please note that the majority of us get disappointed in life, not because people disappointed us but because we disappoint ourselves and we seek someone to take a fall for the very thing that is eating us deep inside that we cannot express or even know that it is there eating us up.

The majority of us had already been heartbroken long before we met that one person we considered so special and meant the whole world to us. Meeting the person brings about a whole new experience and feelings about life and ourselves. And because the new feeling is so sweet and emotionally intriguing we thought the old feelings were gone and we now exist in the new world of love and magic not knowing that we’re simply working in self-denial, storing up atomic elements that could explode at any moment if cares are not taken.

The majority of us had already been damaged long before we met that one person who made us believe that we meant the whole world to him/her; not knowing that what we seek is the very thing the person is also in search of, love, acceptability, belongings and above all care. What our parents could not make available for us as a child we seek in the one we give our heart to as an adult, with the hope that the person will cherish it, adore it and keep it safe. Nothing knowing that the person is as damaged as we are and is seeking for the very same thing we lack as a child and we’re seeking for as an adult.

While our needs as a child remain with us and are eaten up on the inside, the demand for being an adult sets in and in some cases, some of us never had the opportunity to be a Teen not to talk of being a Youth before becoming a Parent. Unintentionally we became parents and found ourselves repeating the same circles of circumstances that our parents found themselves in which led us to where we today. Even those who intentionally became parents found themselves in the same circumstances because it’s a wound in the heart not the heart of the wounds.

Nothing heals a broken heart faster than self-love. Nothing keeps your heart together and makes it whole than self-love. Nothing gives you more joy and brings you unending happiness than self-love. Nothing sets you on the trajectory of life more than self-love. Loving someone when you have not truly known yourself and love yourself is equipping yourself to become an atomic bomb that can explode at any time either in jealousy, abuse of your spouse, body shaming others, thinking, believing and feeling that you’re not good enough and someone else is better than you. The very reasons why so many people live a competitive life instead of a complimentary life.

My dear friend, the majority of us have been broken and heartbroken long before we met the individuals we blamed for breaking our hearts. The same people we’re blaming for breaking our hearts are likely to be blaming us for breaking their hearts too. But the truth is, the individuals we blamed for breaking our hearts only revealed the state of our hearts to us they never broke our hearts, our hearts had already been broken long before we met them.

We should always have it at the back of our hearts that the persons we are blaming for breaking our hearts are victims of the same thing we were victims of as a child and the very love, care and acceptance we seek from them is the very thing they also are seeking from us; but we’re too carried away with what we want and forget to pay attention to what our partner/spouse needs; we get bitter about it, ready to rain fire, storms and hailstones if and when we don’t have it. We need to take things easy on our parents/spouses.

Friends, we and our partner/spouse are just two broken individuals coming together to make a life while bonding on artificial beliefs of love, submission and marriage. A false belief that is potential enough to deepen our pains and leave us destructive, depressed and decompose.

If you are yet to be married and no one is looking at you or wondering you for marriage, stop looking for who to love you and start loving yourself. Love attracts love. Loving yourself will one day lead you to meet someone so much in love with himself/herself to love someone else. Remember, we cannot give what we don’t have.

If you are married already and the love that brought you together has turned to hatred that is pulling you apart, start loving yourself. Love yourself so much that your spouse will have no other choice than to notice that something has shifted in you that made you far better than you used to be. Remember, only a changed person can effect a change in real-time.

If you are separated/divorced and you still believe in marriage and desire to be married again, you should start loving yourself now and forget about seeking someone to love you. Take time off for self-evaluation and self-examination. Nothing happens in life by accident. It is either destiny, self-fault, ignorance or attack from the enemy. Looking inward and taking precise actions will only help us not to make the same mistake again and again.

God will help us all. Enjoy your day.

Sam Adeoye

The post MARRIAGE 106 appeared first on Sunrise News.

Marriage is a ministry that involves dealing with all sorts of conflicts and offences, so it’s important to be a permanent secretary in the forgiveness department. You should have a PhD in understanding, an MSC in loving, and a BSC intolerance. In addition, you should be able to relate well with the Ministry of Finance and Economic Development; otherwise, your marriage will run the risk of becoming a poverty-stricken and bitter institution. Let me put it in another way so that you can understand me well, Marriage is a partnership between two individuals who can forgive easily. If you find it difficult to forgive, then perhaps marriage may not be the best choice for you. Instead, it’s better to enjoy your single life in peace.

Marriage requires good conflict-resolution skills and the ability to forgive. It is therefore important to be an expert in the forgiveness department than to hold grudges against your spouse all the time. You should have a deep understanding of your partner, be compassionate, and have a low level of intolerance. Additionally, you should have good communication skills to avoid financial issues. Otherwise, your marriage could become a poverty-stricken and bitter institution.

No man wants to cheat on his wife, but still, some do. Unfortunately, there is no definitive answer to why men cheat on their wives, as each individual’s motivations and circumstances are unique. However, some common reasons that have been cited include a lack of emotional or physical intimacy in the marriage, feelings of boredom or dissatisfaction, seeking validation or excitement outside of the relationship, or simply succumbing to temptation. It is important to note that cheating is a complex issue and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including personal values, communication skills, and individual experiences.

The act of cheating is one of the reasons why so many Men marry more than one wife. Yes, there are several reasons why some men choose to marry more than one wife, including cultural or religious beliefs, desire for a larger family, social status, or economic reasons. In some cultures or religions, polygamy is accepted or even encouraged, and men may choose to marry multiple wives as a way to fulfil religious or cultural obligations. Additionally, some men may choose to marry more than one wife to have more children or heirs, especially in societies where having a large family is valued. Economic factors, such as the need for additional labour or resources, can also play a role in a man’s decision to take multiple wives. Ultimately, the reasons for polygamy can vary widely and are influenced by a combination of cultural, religious, social, and personal factors.

We have examples of Men who married one wife and those who married more than one wife and yet God never condemns their actions or praises those who married just one.
Please note that this is not permission for any Man to venture into polygamy. No, this is to open our understanding and point us in the direction that will be helpful to us; deciding what we want in marriage before venturing into it.

In the Bible we have the likes of Adam, Eli, Samuel, Ahab, Saul, Herod, Ananias, Pontius Pilate, Jeroboam, Nebuchadnezzar and Haman; these are individuals with one wife. Funny enough, they all lost their way and betrayed God, but still, there are several benefits to having one wife in a monogamous marriage, which includes:

1. Emotional intimacy: Having one wife allows for a deep emotional connection and bond to develop over time, fostering trust, understanding, and support in the relationship.
2. Stability: Monogamous marriages tend to be more stable and secure, as both partners are committed to each other and work together to build a life and future together.
3. Shared responsibilities: In a monogamous marriage, both partners share responsibilities and work together as a team to manage household tasks, raise children, and make important decisions.
4. Greater focus on individual relationships: With one wife, there is more time and energy to focus on building and nurturing the relationship, leading to a stronger and more fulfilling partnership.
5. Legal and financial benefits: In many societies, monogamous marriages come with legal and financial benefits, such as tax breaks if you live in developed countries; inheritance rights, and access to spousal benefits.

Having one wife in a monogamous marriage can lead to a deeper emotional connection, greater stability, shared responsibilities, and legal and financial benefits. On the other hand, polygamy is not legal or socially accepted in many cultures, so religion also kicked against it as Apostle Paul said in 1 Tim 3:1-2 “If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife…” there are some perceived benefits that some individuals may associate with having more than one wife. These potential benefits include:

1. Larger family: Having multiple wives can result in a larger family with more children, which may be desirable for some individuals who value having a large and diverse family.
2. Division of labour: With multiple wives, household tasks and responsibilities can be divided among the wives, potentially making it easier to manage the household and care for children.
3. Social status: In some cultures, having multiple wives may be seen as a symbol of wealth, power, or social status, as it demonstrates a man’s ability to provide for and support multiple women and their children.
4. Companionship and support: Having multiple wives can provide a man with companionship, emotional support, and intimacy from multiple partners, which may fulfil different emotional needs or desires.
5. Cultural or religious beliefs: In some cultures or religions, polygamy is accepted or even encouraged as a way to fulfil religious or cultural obligations, and having multiple wives may be seen as a way to adhere to these beliefs.

It is important to note that the perceived benefits of polygamy can vary widely depending on cultural, religious, and individual beliefs and that polygamous relationships can also come with challenges and complexities, including issues related to jealousy, competition, and unequal power dynamics. Unfortunately, the people who married more than one wife in the Bible, Abraham 2 Wives, and 1 Sex partner; Jacob 2 Wives, and 2 Sex partners; Moses 2 Wives, David had 17 Wives and 200 Sex partners; Solomon had 700 Wives and 300 Sex partners; Rehoboam had 18 Wives, Abijah had 14 Wives, Elkanah had 2 Wives and Lamech 2 Wives all found favour in the eyes of the Lord.

There is no specific command from the Lord in the Bible regarding the number of times someone should get married. Marriage is considered a sacred and lifelong commitment in many religious traditions, but there are instances where divorce and remarriage are permitted under certain circumstances. Ultimately, the decision to marry and remarry is a personal one that individuals must make based on their own beliefs and circumstances.

In Christianity, divorce is generally discouraged and considered a last resort. However, there are some circumstances in which divorce is permitted according to biblical teachings. The most commonly cited grounds for divorce in Christianity are:

Adultery: If one spouse commits adultery, the innocent party may have biblical grounds for divorce. This is based on Jesus’ teaching in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 5:32) where he states that adultery is a valid reason for divorce.

Abandonment: If a non-believing spouse chooses to leave the marriage, the abandoned spouse may have grounds for divorce. This is based on the apostle Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7:15.

Abuse: In cases of physical, emotional, or psychological abuse, divorce may be considered necessary to protect the safety and well-being of the victim and any children involved.

It is important to note that different Christian denominations may have varying interpretations of these teachings, and individuals should seek guidance from their religious leaders and counsellors when considering divorce. Ultimately, the decision to divorce should be made prayerfully and with careful consideration of all factors involved.

I’ve heard several people saying that divorce is not permitted in Islam, but that is not true. In Islam, divorce is permitted as a last resort if a marriage cannot be salvaged. The process of divorce in Islam is known as “Talaq” and can be initiated by either the husband or the wife. There are different forms of divorce in Islam, including:

Talaq: This is a unilateral divorce initiated by the husband by pronouncing the word “Talaq” three times in the presence of witnesses. The wife may also seek divorce through the process of “Talaq” if specified conditions are met.

Khula: This is a divorce initiated by the wife, where she seeks a divorce from her husband by returning her dowry or giving up some of her rights.

Faskh: This is a divorce granted by a religious judge or authority in cases where the marriage is deemed invalid or there are valid reasons for dissolution, such as abuse or neglect.

Islam encourages reconciliation and mediation before resorting to divorce, and divorce is considered a last resort when all efforts to reconcile have failed. The Quran provides guidelines on the process of divorce and the rights and responsibilities of both parties during and after the divorce. It is important for individuals seeking divorce in Islam to follow the proper procedures and seek guidance from religious authorities.

While divorce is often a difficult and emotionally challenging process, there can be potential benefits for mental health in certain situations. Some potential benefits of divorce for mental health include:

1. Relief from a toxic or abusive relationship: Divorcing from a toxic or abusive partner can provide relief from ongoing emotional and psychological harm, leading to improved mental well-being.
2. Increased autonomy and self-esteem: Divorce can empower individuals to take control of their own lives and make decisions that are in their best interest, leading to increased self-esteem and confidence.
3. Reduced stress and anxiety: Ending a troubled marriage can alleviate the stress and anxiety that may have been present in the relationship, allowing individuals to experience greater peace of mind and emotional stability.
4. Opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery: Divorce can be a time of self-reflection and personal growth, allowing individuals to explore their own needs, desires, and goals outside of the confines of a troubled marriage.
5. Improved relationships with children: In some cases, divorce can lead to healthier and more positive relationships with children, as parents may be better able to focus on their well-being and provide a more stable and supportive environment.

It Is important to note that the benefits of divorce for mental health can vary depending on individual circumstances, and the process of divorce itself can be emotionally challenging. Seeking support from mental health professionals, counsellors, and support groups can help navigate the emotional complexities of divorce and promote overall well-being.

One major question we need to ask ourselves is, what happens to us if we remain in a bad marriage? A bad marriage can have a significant impact on mental health and well-being, potentially leading to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Some ways in which a bad marriage can contribute to mental health problems include:

1. Constant stress and conflict: Living in a marriage characterized by ongoing conflict, tension, and stress can take a toll on mental health, leading to feelings of anxiety, helplessness, and emotional distress.
2. Emotional abuse: Emotional abuse, such as verbal attacks, manipulation, and control, can have a profound impact on mental health, causing feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and anxiety.
3. Isolation and loneliness: A bad marriage can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially if communication and emotional connection are lacking. This can contribute to feelings of depression and social withdrawal.
4. Lack of support: In a troubled marriage, individuals may feel unsupported and emotionally neglected, which can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety.
5. Negative self-image: Constant criticism, belittling, or invalidation from a spouse can erode self-esteem and self-worth, leading to negative self-image and mental health issues.

Individuals in a bad marriage need to prioritize their mental health and seek support from mental health professionals, counsellors, or support groups. Deciding to address and potentially end a toxic or unhealthy marriage can be a difficult but necessary step in promoting mental well-being and overall happiness.

Bad marriage exposes you to dangers beyond imagination. We must protect ourselves in a bad and from a bad spouse pending the time we figure out what to do with ourselves. However, protecting oneself in a bad marriage involves setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing your well-being. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist for emotional support and guidance. Having a support system can provide validation, perspective, and encouragement during difficult times.
2. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your spouse to protect your emotional and physical well-being. This may involve communicating your needs, asserting your rights, and setting limits on behaviour that is harmful or disrespectful.
3. Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that promote your mental, emotional, and physical health. This may include exercise, relaxation techniques, hobbies, and activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
4. Seek professional help: Consider seeking counselling or therapy to work through relationship issues, process emotions, and develop coping strategies. A mental health professional can provide guidance and support as you navigate challenges in your marriage.
5. Explore your options: If the marriage is consistently harmful or toxic, consider exploring your options for separation or divorce. It is important to prioritize your safety and well-being, and sometimes ending a bad marriage is the best course of action for your mental health.
6. Educate yourself: Learn about healthy relationships, communication skills, and conflict resolution strategies. Building your knowledge and skills can empower you to navigate challenges in your marriage more effectively.

Remember that protecting yourself in a bad marriage may involve difficult decisions and actions, but prioritizing your well-being is essential for your mental health and overall happiness. Trust your instincts, seek support, and take steps to create a safe and healthy environment for yourself.

However, living with a bad spouse and awaiting a divorce can be dangerous; anything can happen during the waiting including death in some situations. May we never be a partaker of this.

Navigating a relationship with a bad spouse while pending divorce can be challenging, but it is important to prioritize your well-being and safety during this time. Here are some tips for managing your relationship with a bad spouse while going through the divorce process:

1. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your spouse to protect yourself emotionally and physically. Communicate your needs and limits, and assert your rights respectfully and assertively.
2. Communicate effectively: Maintain open and honest communication with your spouse, focusing on practical matters related to the divorce process. Keep conversations brief, to the point, and focused on the necessary details.
3. Seek support: Lean on your support system, including friends, family, therapists, or support groups, for emotional support and guidance. Having a strong support network can help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a difficult spouse.
4. Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that promote your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfilment to help manage stress and maintain your overall health.
5. Stay safe: If you feel unsafe or threatened by your spouse, prioritize your safety and seek help from local authorities or domestic violence resources. Your safety is the top priority, and it is important to take steps to protect yourself from harm.
6. Focus on the future: Keep your focus on the future and the positive changes that lie ahead. Remind yourself that the divorce process is temporary, and you have the opportunity to create a new chapter in your life that is healthier and more fulfilling.

Remember that navigating a relationship with a bad spouse during the divorce process can be emotionally challenging, but prioritizing your well-being, setting boundaries, and seeking support can help you manage the situation effectively. Trust your instincts, take care of yourself, and stay focused on creating a brighter future for yourself.

Sam Adeoye
May 19, 2024

The post Marriage 104 appeared first on Sunrise News.

I know many will find this hard to believe, but in 2 Chron 16:9 it was recorded that; “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.” And in Job 1:6-7 it was said; “Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. And the Lord said to Satan, “From where do you come?” So Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking back and forth on it.” The same repeated itself in Job 2:1-2 where it was said; “Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the Lord. And the Lord said to Satan, “From where do you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking back and forth on it.”

If we think that Satan is an enemy of God as religion made us believe, the majority of us will continue to work against God’s plans and purpose for our lives.

There are so many errors in the Bible, also in the Quran and as well as in all religious textbooks; because so many words were misinterpreted into English from the original language, the many reasons why we have so many Latin words in English simply because there were no appropriate words to use to give it proper interpretations. So also, all religious textbooks are written by Man and not God just as all the religions in the world are the creations of man and not God. As long as we continue to believe in religion, we’ll continue to fall victim to religious lies, falsehoods and manipulators of men. Having a relationship with God is the only way to true freedom.

If we pay attention to the person of Adam and Eve, they are creations of God without knowledge of who they are or the things around them; man was created to be without knowledge that was the reason why God said; “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Gen 2:16-17. Take it or leave it, a man without knowledge is already a dead Man, he just doesn’t know it.

However, love can lead you into a marriage but love cannot keep you in marriage or sustain the marriage because love is a feeling marriage is not. Marriage is reality and without proper knowledge of who you are, who you are married to and what you both agreed to accomplish through the marriage, the marriage will fail. And the failure of a marriage has nothing to do with Satan, Devils or enemies from your family or neighbourhoods as we were made to believe. Failure in a marriage is a result of our ignorance, lack of knowledge of what we want from the marriage, how to treat our partner and how to handle issues within the marriage. Lack of character, attitudes, selfishness, religion, culture, traditions and involvement of unnecessary elements in the marriage are the main reasons why marriage fails. It has nothing to do with the Satan, Devils or the enemies.

Loving your wife and submitting to your husband has never sustained a marriage, to a larger extent it destroys the marriage because so many people take it out of context and the over-spiritual ones use it as a weapon against their spouse especially the verse that says the husband is the head of the wife, that is a huge error. God did not and had never placed any human beings above another human being. Humans are equal before God and if there is anything that kills Men faster is this ideology that he is the head and therefore he should be the one to always make the final decision even when his sense of judgment is faulty and questionable. That is a disaster.

A successful marriage does not necessarily depend on love alone. Love is not the only requirement for getting married. While love can bring happiness, it is not enough to make a marriage work. Love can be a dangerous thing as it can make you believe that you can make it work even when you can’t. It’s important to remember that every divorced person was once in love with the person they ended up divorcing.

Therefore, it’s essential to know how to live with your partner and maintain a healthy marriage. We live in a culture that values feelings over practicality, and sometimes our emotions drive us to make commitments we can’t keep. Marriage is not protected by love alone but by knowledge and understanding of how to make it work. Marriage does not need love, marriage needs knowledge.

Before I dwell much on this, let me point our attention to Eph 5:17-21 where Apostle Paul says; “Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Communication Skills

Effective communication is essential in any relationship, including marriage. Being able to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly, and being able to listen and understand your partner’s perspective is crucial for a healthy marriage.

Emotional Intelligence

Understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as being able to empathize with and support your partner in managing their emotions, is important for sustaining a marriage.

Conflict Resolution Skills

Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but being able to resolve them constructively and respectfully is key to maintaining a strong and healthy marriage.

Trust and Honesty

Trust is the foundation of any successful marriage. Being honest and trustworthy with your partner, and trusting them in return, is essential for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Commitment and Dedication

Marriage requires a commitment to your partner and your relationship, as well as dedication to working through challenges and supporting each other through the ups and downs of life.

Empathy and Understanding

Being able to see things from your partner’s perspective, and being empathetic and understanding towards their feelings and experiences, is important for building a strong and lasting connection in marriage.

Patience and Tolerance

Marriage requires patience and tolerance for your partner’s flaws and imperfections, as well as the ability to work through difficulties and challenges together.

Self-Awareness and Self-Care

Taking care of yourself and being aware of your own needs and boundaries is important for sustaining a healthy marriage. It’s important to prioritize self-care and personal growth to show up as your best self in your relationship.

While love is an important foundation for a marriage, it is not always enough to sustain a long-lasting and healthy relationship. Love can bring two people together and create a strong bond, but sustaining a marriage requires more than just love. Other factors such as communication, trust, commitment, respect, and compatibility are also crucial for a successful marriage.

Love alone may not be enough to overcome challenges and conflicts that arise in a marriage. Couples need to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual respect to navigate the ups and downs of married life. Couples who can effectively communicate, resolve conflicts, and support each other through difficult times are more likely to have a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

In addition, couples need to continue to nurture their relationship and prioritize their connection over time. This may involve spending quality time together, showing appreciation and affection for each other, and continuing to grow and evolve as individuals and as a couple.

Ultimately, while love is an important aspect of a marriage, it is not the only factor that determines the success of a relationship. Couples who can cultivate a strong foundation of trust, communication, and commitment are more likely to sustain a happy and healthy marriage in the long run.

There is no set rule for how often a couple should discuss their differences, as every relationship is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another. However, couples need to have open and honest communication about their differences in a regular ba regularly healthy and strong relationship.

It Is recommended that couples make a habit of discussing their differences as they arise, rather than letting them build up and create resentment over time. This can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts from escalating and can allow both partners to address issues in a timely and constructive manner.

Some couples may find it helpful to schedule regular check-ins or “relationship meetings” to discuss any concerns, conflicts, or differences that have arisen since their last conversation. This can provide a dedicated time and space for open communication and problem-solving and can help prevent issues from festering and causing larger problems down the line.

Ultimately, the key is for couples to find a communication style and frequency that works for them and allows them to address their differences healthily and productively. It is important for both partners to feel heard, understood, and respected during these discussions, and to work together to find mutually satisfactory solutions to any conflicts that arise.

When a couple is denying each other sex, they need to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings and desires. They should try to understand each other’s reasons for denying sex and work together to find a solution that works for both of them. This may involve seeking therapy or counselling to address any underlying issues, setting boundaries and expectations, and finding alternative ways to connect and be intimate with each other. It is important for both partners to be respectful and understanding of each other’s needs and to work together to find a mutually satisfying resolution.

Using sex as a punishment in a relationship can have serious negative implications for the couple and their relationship. Some potential consequences include:

Resentment and Anger

The partner who is being denied sex may feel resentful and angry towards their spouse, leading to a breakdown in communication and trust.

Emotional Distance

Using sex as a punishment can create emotional distance between partners, making it difficult for them to connect and communicate effectively.

Decreased Intimacy

When sex is used as a punishment, it can lead to a decrease in intimacy and closeness between partners, which can hurt the overall health of the relationship.

Sexual Dysfunction

Over time, using sex as a punishment can lead to sexual dysfunction and issues with arousal, desire, and performance for both partners.

Relationship Dissatisfaction

Ultimately, using sex as a punishment can lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness in the relationship, potentially leading to a breakdown in the relationship altogether.

It Is important for couples to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings and needs, and to find healthy and constructive ways to address conflicts and disagreements in their relationship. Using sex as a punishment is not a healthy or effective way to resolve issues and can have serious negative consequences for the couple and their relationship.

Resolving issues in a marriage requires open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work together to find solutions. Here are some steps that couples can take to address and resolve issues in their marriage:

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Couples need to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings, needs, and concerns. This includes actively listening to each other, constructively expressing emotions, and being willing to compromise.

Identify the root of the issue

Couples should work together to identify the underlying causes of their issues and conflicts. This may involve exploring past experiences, beliefs, and communication patterns that are contributing to the problem.

Seek professional help

If couples are struggling to resolve their issues on their own, they may benefit from seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor. A trained professional can provide guidance, support, and tools to help couples navigate their challenges and improve their relationship.

Practice empathy and understanding

Couples need to practice empathy and understanding towards each other’s perspectives and experiences. This can help build trust, strengthen the emotional connection, and foster a sense of mutual respect.

Work on problem-solving skills

Couples can work on developing effective problem-solving skills to address conflicts and disagreements constructively. This may involve setting boundaries, establishing clear communication strategies, and finding compromises that work for both partners.

Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship

It can be helpful for couples to focus on the positive aspects of their relationship and to celebrate their strengths and successes together. This can help build resilience, foster a sense of gratitude, and strengthen the bond between partners.

Overall, resolving issues in a marriage requires patience, commitment, and a willingness to work together to find solutions. By practising open communication, empathy, and problem-solving skills, couples can navigate their challenges and build stronger, healthier relationships.

Sam Adeoye

May 12, 2024

The post MARRIAGE 103 appeared first on Sunrise News.

This was what Apostle Peter was saying in 1 Peter 3:7; “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” The same spirit of the person you treated well that is powerful enough to keep you going higher in life is the same spirit that will turn against you and destroy you if you start treating the person badly and the person is upset with you.

I’m sure some of us must have witnessed a situation where someone did something very painful to us and from nowhere, something evil begins to happen to that person. The religious mindsets among us are always too quick to conclude that that person is a witch or is possessed by one evil power, but that is not true. The person is not possessed by any evil power or forces, rather the person’s spirit is fighting against the person who did something unpleasant to the person and until the person does the needful, he will continue to suffer the same.

Sixteen spirits govern the earth and every human being on the earth possesses them and they partially and fully manifest in us all. Let me talk briefly about the partial part of their operations in human beings before I spend time talking about their full functionalities in every human being.

Scientifically, science made us believe that Men have Nine Ribs and Women have Seven Ribs. But in the things of the spirit, these are not Ribs, rather, they are spirits. And they exist in the life of every human being for a purpose. The Nine Spirits in Men signifies strength. In Job 32:8 it was said; “But there is a spirit in man, and the breath of the Almighty gives him understanding.” In 1 Peter 3:7 Apostle Peter said; “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife…” The nine spirit in man is the strength he needs to live with the woman in his life with understanding. The Seven Spirit in the Woman is the number of days in a week, which is Seven Days.

Here is the play-out. If you treat your wife well on Monday and things work out well for you that day and make more money, and you treat her badly on Tuesday to the point that she is mad and miserable, the chances of things not working out well for you on Tuesday is very high. Her Seven Spirit is to work for you in the spiritual realm each spirit for each day; that was why she was called “helper” in Gen 2:18; “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And in Gen 2:21-22, it was said that; “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept, and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” If your Wife will not help you spiritually with her spirit, it doesn’t matter how well she is helping you physically, you cannot and you will not prosper. It is not a curse, it is a fact.

Religion made us focus so much on the physical attributes of our woman and forget about their spiritual capacities. Jezebel is one woman so many people are quick to condemn in the bible, but check her out so well, she was a woman who stood by her husband both physically and spiritually. She was so strong and protective of her husband to the point that even Elijah with all his anointing ran away because of her. Sir, let me make this clear to you, you have nothing to fear if only you can treat that woman in your life with love, dignity and respect. She’s the only one that can block the enemies from gaining access to your life and finances. But how can she do that when the only thing you know how to do is abuse her and make her feel worthless of herself? You’re the one losing not her.”

Today, I’m building further on the foundation that had been laid and we’re looking in detail into every aspect of marriage and how best to handle some issues.

First of all, let me make it clear that any marriage that is built on the foundation of religion, one that is void of love, affection, understanding and communication is bound to fail. So also, beware of the individuals that tell you great and mighty things about their marriage. The tendency of them to lie to you is very high. But listen attentively to the individuals who are willing and ready to share with you the challenges and the battles they have to face a couple and how they handle them. Even if they lied about how they handled it, the fact that they are still together means they are working on each other; and we are all work in progress.

There are no good marriages, great marriages or bad marriages. Every marriage is built on the characters, attitudes and personalities of the individuals in the marriage. That you have a good character, attitude and personality doesn’t mean that your marriage will work out fine. Your spouse must also have a good character, attitude and personality to make a good marriage. If you have a good character, attitude and personality and your spouse does not, you will never have a good marriage. Your marriage is likely to be one of the worst ones ever. It’s not a curse, it is a fact. If you tried to cover up for it and play the good spouse, the chances of you ending up in depression or developing psych sclerosis (hardening of mind/thoughts) are very high. The danger of developing psych sclerosis is that it kills, especially men. It seals their thinking and costs them growth in self-improvement and the ability to earn.

So many people are indirectly suffering from psych sclerosis without knowing it. Psychsclerosis is a human natural tendency to fall in love with their ideas and vigorously defend them against anything new. Religious mindsets I can say are suffering from psychsclerosis. You cannot all by yourself handle anything in a marriage, even if you don’t need financial support, you sure will need psychological and emotional support. So, stop playing the hero. Humble yourself and ask for help and if you don’t get any, limit your efforts to what you can handle at the time.

However, a good marriage is characterized by mutual respect, trust, communication, support, and love between partners. Both individuals work together to build a strong foundation for their relationship, and they are committed to each other’s happiness and well-being. In a good marriage, conflicts are resolved healthily and constructively, and both partners feel valued and appreciated.
In Eph 4:25-27 Apostle Paul said; “Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbour,” for we are members of one another. “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” Some people are masters in lying, wrath and unforgiveness. If you have such a person as a spouse, no matter how good you think the person is, these two defaults in character are like Acid. They will destroy anything and everything you ever built to make the marriage work. The word “wrath” means anger, rage, fury, madness meaning you are living under the same roof with a mad person.

Anger:
Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools. Eccl 7:9

Rage:
A king’s rage is like the roar of a lion, but his favour is like dew on the grass. Prov 19:12

Fury:
Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Prov 27:4

Madness:
Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. Eccl 1:17

On the other hand, a bad marriage is marked by a lack of communication, trust issues, disrespect, and constant conflict. Partners may feel unhappy, unfulfilled, and disconnected from each other. In a bad marriage, one or both partners may feel neglected, unappreciated, or taken for granted. There may be a lack of effort to work on the relationship, leading to a cycle of negativity and resentment.

The key difference between a good marriage and a bad marriage is the level of mutual respect, communication, and support between partners. In a good marriage, both individuals prioritize the relationship and work together to overcome challenges, while in a bad marriage, there is a lack of effort, understanding, and commitment to making the relationship work.

Husband

Eph 5:25-32 is one scripture the church had adopted to address the role of a Man to his Wife, but in actual sense, Apostle Paul was not talking about Husband and Wife in this verse of the scripture, rather he was talking about Christ and the church. Saying, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church.

As a Man in the house, several qualities and characteristics can make someone a good husband. Some of these include:

1. Communication: A good husband can communicate openly and effectively with his partner. He listens attentively, expresses his thoughts and feelings honestly, and works to resolve conflicts constructively.
2. Respect: A good husband respects his partner as an equal and values her opinions, feelings, and boundaries. He treats her with kindness, consideration, and empathy.
3. Supportive: A good husband is supportive of his partner’s goals, dreams, and aspirations. He encourages her to pursue her passions, provides emotional support during challenging times, and celebrates her successes.
4. Trustworthy: A good husband is trustworthy and reliable. He keeps his promises, is honest and transparent in his actions, and can be counted on to be there for his partner when she needs him.
5. Affectionate: A good husband shows affection and love towards his partner through physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of kindness. He makes an effort to express his love and appreciation regularly.
6. Responsible: A good husband takes responsibility for his actions, contributes to the household and family responsibilities, and makes decisions that are in the best interest of the relationship and family.
7. Compromise: A good husband is willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both partners. He can see things from his partner’s perspective and is open to finding common ground in disagreements.

Please, note that a good husband is someone who is committed to the well-being and happiness of his partner, communicates effectively, shows respect and support, and is willing to work together to build a strong and healthy relationship.

Wife

Again in Eph 5:22-24, the Apostle said; “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Just like being a good husband, being a good wife involves several qualities and characteristics that contribute to a healthy and fulfilling marriage. Some of these qualities include:

1. Communication: A good wife can communicate openly and effectively with her partner. She listens attentively, expresses her thoughts and feelings honestly, and works to resolve conflicts constructively.
2. Respect: A good wife respects her partner as an equal and values his opinions, feelings, and boundaries. She treats him with kindness, consideration, and empathy.
3. Supportive: A good wife is supportive of her partner’s goals, dreams, and aspirations. She encourages him to pursue his passions, provides emotional support during challenging times, and celebrates his successes.
4. Trustworthy: A good wife is trustworthy and reliable. She keeps her promises, is honest and transparent in her actions, and can be counted on to be there for her partner when he needs her.
5. Affectionate: A good wife shows affection and love towards her partner through physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of kindness. She makes an effort to express her love and appreciation regularly.
6. Responsible: A good wife takes responsibility for her actions, contributes to the household and family responsibilities, and makes decisions that are in the best interest of the relationship and family.
7. Compromise: A good wife is willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both partners. She can see things from her partner’s perspective and is open to finding common ground in disagreements.

A good wife is someone who is committed to the well-being and happiness of her partner, communicates effectively, shows respect and support, and is willing to work together to build a strong and healthy relationship.

Couple

Every preacher I know and have heard has always taught Wives to submit to their Husbands and Husbands, to love their Wives. But none of them and I mean none of them had ever made mention of Eph 5:21 which says; “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The church had never at any point in time taught about husbands and wives submitting to each other. To enjoy a good and peaceful marriage, both husbands and wives must learn to submit to one another in the fear of the Lord.

Let’s explore this Eph 5:21 further

• Honor Christ by submitting to each other. TLB
• Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. TMB
• Submitting to one another in the fear of God. NKJV
• Submit to one another in fear of the Messiah. JCB
• Yield to obey each other because you respect Christ. NCV
• Place yourselves under each other’s authority out of respect for Christ. GWNBS
• Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. RSV

A great couple in a marriage is characterized by a strong and healthy relationship built on mutual respect, trust, communication, support, and love. Some key factors that contribute to a great couple in a marriage include:

1. Communication: A great couple communicates openly and effectively with each other. They listen attentively, express their thoughts and feelings honestly, and work together to resolve conflicts constructively.
2. Trust: A great couple trusts each other and has faith in their partner’s intentions and actions. They are honest, reliable, and transparent with each other, creating a foundation of trust in their relationship.
3. Respect: A great couple respects each other as individuals and values each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries. They treat each other with kindness, consideration, and empathy.
4. Support: A great couple supports each other’s goals, dreams, and aspirations. They encourage each other to pursue their passions, provide emotional support during challenging times, and celebrate each other’s successes.
5. Shared values and goals: A great couple shares common values, beliefs, and goals for their relationship and future. They work together towards common objectives and make decisions that align with their shared vision.
6. Quality time together: A great couple prioritizes spending quality time together, nurturing their bond and connection. They engage in activities they both enjoy, communicate regularly, and make time for each other despite their busy schedules.
7. Teamwork: A great couple works as a team, supporting each other through life’s challenges and celebrating their victories together. They collaborate on household responsibilities, parenting, and decision-making, fostering a sense of partnership and unity.

A great couple in a marriage is committed to each other’s happiness and well-being, communicates effectively, shows respect and support, and works together as a team to build a strong and fulfilling relationship.

The goal of a Marriage

There are so many misconceptions about the goal of a marriage. Unfortunately, so many people are in a marriage for different reasons. As someone said, “Women married for comfort and stability, while men married for love. Women don’t care about loving a man, they only care about who to take good care of them, someone they feel safe with”.

Now, when two players on a team are playing against each other, they are no longer a team but an opponent. That is exactly what some marriages are. The goal of a marriage must be clearly stated and to a larger extent they can vary depending on the individuals involved, but some common goals that many couples should strive for include:

1. Building a strong and lasting partnership: The primary goal of marriage is often to create a strong and lasting partnership with your spouse. This involves building a deep emotional connection, fostering trust and mutual respect, and supporting each other through life’s challenges.
2. Creating a happy and fulfilling life together: Couples often aim to create a happy and fulfilling life together by sharing experiences, creating memories, and supporting each other’s personal growth and well-being.
3. Building a family: For many couples, the goal of marriage is to build a family and create a loving and supportive environment for children.
4. Growing together: Marriage provides an opportunity for personal growth and development, both individually and as a couple. The goal is to support each other’s growth, learn from each other, and evolve together over time.
5. Achieving common goals: Couples may have shared goals and aspirations, such as buying a home, starting a business, or travelling the world. The goal of marriage is to work together to achieve these goals and support each other in reaching their full potential.

Ultimately, the goal of marriage is to create a strong, loving, and supportive partnership that enriches the lives of both partners and allows them to grow and thrive together. Communication, trust, respect, and mutual support are key to achieving these goals and building a successful and fulfilling marriage.

Third parties

No marriage can escape the intrusion of a third party. But sure, they can as well control it if they are united. Third parties could be the parent-in-laws, the siblings, the friends and relatives, the children or even games and Social Media. Anything that takes your attention away from your spouse is a third-party influencer, break away from it.

Treating third parties in a marriage involves setting boundaries, maintaining open communication with your partner, and being respectful of each other’s feelings. Here are some tips on how to handle interactions with third parties in a marriage:

1. Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and concerns regarding interactions with third parties. Discuss any potential issues that may arise and come up with a plan on how to handle them together.
2. Set clear boundaries with third parties to ensure that they understand the nature of your relationship and respect your marriage. This may involve limiting the amount of time spent with certain individuals or avoiding situations that could potentially cause tension in your marriage.
3. Prioritize your relationship with your partner and make sure that your actions and decisions are in line with your commitment to each other. Avoid putting yourself in compromising situations that could jeopardize the trust and intimacy in your marriage.
4. Respect your partner’s feelings and opinions when it comes to interactions with third parties. Be understanding and supportive of each other’s boundaries and be willing to compromise when necessary.
5. Seek professional help if you are struggling to navigate interactions with third parties in your marriage. A therapist or counsellor can provide guidance and support in addressing any issues that may arise and help strengthen your relationship with your partner.

Marriage is not difficult if only we can be disciplined and focused enough to do what is needful and necessary to keep the marriage safe and secure.

Sam Adeoye
April 28, 2024

The post MARRIAGE 101 PART 1 appeared first on Sunrise News.

This was what Apostle Peter was saying in 1 Peter 3:7; “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” The same spirit of the person you treated well that is powerful enough to keep you going higher in life is the same spirit that will turn against you and destroy you if you start treating the person badly and the person is upset with you.

I’m sure some of us must have witnessed a situation where someone did something very painful to us and from nowhere, something evil begins to happen to that person. The religious mindsets among us are always too quick to conclude that that person is a witch or is possessed by one evil power, but that is not true. The person is not possessed by any evil power or forces, rather the person’s spirit is fighting against the person who did something unpleasant to the person and until the person does the needful, he will continue to suffer the same.

Sixteen spirits govern the earth and every human being on the earth possesses them and they partially and fully manifest in us all. Let me talk briefly about the partial part of their operations in human beings before I spend time talking about their full functionalities in every human being.

Scientifically, science made us believe that Men have Nine Ribs and Women have Seven Ribs. But in the things of the spirit, these are not Ribs, rather, they are spirits. And they exist in the life of every human being for a purpose. The Nine Spirits in Men signifies strength. In Job 32:8 it was said; “But there is a spirit in man, and the breath of the Almighty gives him understanding.” In 1 Peter 3:7 Apostle Peter said; “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife…” The Nine spirit in man is the strength he needs to live with the woman in his life with understanding. The Seven Spirit in the Woman is the number of days in a week, which is Seven Days.

Here is the play-out. If you treat your wife well on Monday and things work out well for you that day and make more money, and you treat her badly on Tuesday to the point that she is mad and miserable, the chances of things not working out well for you on Tuesday is very high. Her Seven Spirit is to work for you in the spiritual realm each spirit for each day; that was why she was called “helper” in Gen 2:18; “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And in Gen 2:21-22, it was said; “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept, and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” If your Wife will not help you spiritually with her spirit, it doesn’t matter how well she is helping you physically, you cannot and you will not prosper. It is not a curse, it is a fact.

Religion made us focus so much on the physical attributes of our woman and forget about their spiritual capacities. Jezebel is one woman so many people are quick to condemn in the bible, but check her out so well, she was a woman who stood by her husband both physically and spiritually. She was so strong and protective of her husband to the point that even Elijah with all his anointing ran away because of her. Sir, let me make this clear to you, you have nothing to fear if only you can treat that woman in your life with love, dignity and respect. She’s the only one that can block the enemies from gaining access to your life and finances. But how can she do that when the only thing you know how to do is abuse her and make her feel worthless of herself? You’re the one losing not her.

Now, let’s look at the functionality of these spirits in human lives in line with some spiritual principles and ideologies. I deliberately use “Ifa” because Ifa is very detailed about life, creation and spirits that support human existence.

Spiritually, Eji Ogbe is the “Summer” season of life and it’s the signs of growth, the need for protection, and an abundance of distractions. Its concept is based on the “Mind”; and in Isa 26:3-6 it was said that; “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength. For He brings down those who dwell on high, the lofty city; He lays it low, He lays it low to the ground, He brings it down to the dust. The foot shall tread it down — the feet of the poor and the steps of the needy.”

It is also known to be the “Super Soul” meaning God is situated in the hearts of all living entities. This is a perfect interpretation of Heb 8:10-12 where Apostle Paul said; “For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. None of them shall teach his neighbour, and none his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them. For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

Irosun Meji means Imagination. In Gen 8:21-22 it was recorded that; “And the Lord smelled a soothing aroma. Then the Lord said in His heart, “I will never again curse the ground for man’s sake, although the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; nor will I again destroy every living thing as I have done. ”While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, and day and night shall not cease.” The imagination is a powerful tool and it is potent enough to make or destroy anyone depending on what the person is imagining in his or her mind. Individuals born between June 21 to July 22 are known to be Cancer; they are the embodiment of the power of imagination and have a crab as their symbol of identity. Cancer seamlessly weaves between the sea and shore representing Cancer’s ability to exist in both emotional and material realms. Cancers are highly intuitive and their psychic abilities manifest in tangible spaces. But—just like the hard-shelled crustaceans—this water sign is willing to do whatever it takes to protect itself emotionally.

Obara Meji means Faith. In Hab 2:4 it was said, “Behold the proud, his soul is not upright in him, but the just shall live by his faith.” In Heb 11:6 Apostle Paul said, “But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Having faith, strong faith as Jesus Christ said in Matt 17:20 that; “if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Individuals born between July 23 – August 22 are known to be Leo; and they have the lion as their symbol. They have a bold faith. They are the perfect interpretation of Prov 28:1 that says; “the righteous are bold as a lion.” They are passionate, loyal, and infamously dramatic, these spirited fire signs are the kings and queens of the celestial jungle. They’re delighted to embrace their royal status: Vivacious, theatrical, and fiery, Leos love to bask in the spotlight and celebrate themselves.

Ika Meji means Natural Space. The earth is their world. They are the perfect image of the world of King David in Ps 115:16 that says; “The heaven, even the heavens, are the Lord’s; but the earth He has given to the children of men.” Individuals born between August 23 to September 22 are known to be Virgo; and the goddess of wheat and agriculture is their symbol, an association that speaks to Virgo’s deep-rooted presence in the material world. The majority of the people born within this circle have a kind of a godlike attitude imbedded in them and they are not afraid to exhibit it when necessary. The expression, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person” is the perfect picture of these individuals. Virgos are logical, practical, and systematic in their approach to life. These individuals are perfectionists at heart and aren’t afraid to improve skills through diligent and consistent practice.

Spiritually, Owinrin Meji is the Autumn season of life and it means successes, achievements and failures. In Josh 1:8, God said to Joshua; “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.” Meaning, that if you are diligent with your life and keep to the law, be it the laws of the Lord or the laws of the land (country) where you live, your successes and achievements are guaranteed; but if you do otherwise, failures are also await you. Remember, it is your responsibility to make your way prosperous and have success, not God’s.

The same is also known as “Reason” or “Soul”. You cannot engage in meaningful reasoning if you don’t have a soul. It takes a person who has a soul to reason things out and arrive at a logical conclusion. In Isa 1:18 God said; “Come now, and let us reason together, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” Why was God so particular in reasoning with us? In Ps 34:22, King David said; “The Lord redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.” As humans, please pay attention to the fact that I did not say as Christians, but as human, it is our right to reason things out with God and in as long as we continue to have a soul that is geared towards God and humanity, God will continue to redeem us not just from the laws of sins and deaths, but from all laws as Apostle Paul said in Gal 5:16-18 that; “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”

Under the Reason or the soul, we have three types of spirit…

Spiritually Okanran Meji means Vision. In Hab 2:2-4 Prophet Habakkuk said “The Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end, it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. “Behold the proud, his soul is not upright in him, but the just shall live by his faith.” Vision without faith is equal to failure, so also faith without vision is death. What makes a vision a reality is the ability to exercise strong faith even amid uncertainty and the individuals born between September 23 to October 22 are known to be “Libra” they are embodiments of vision. These individuals of people are defined by their energy for balance, harmony, and justice. Libra is represented by the scales; an association that reflects their fixation on establishing equilibrium. They are obsessed with symmetry and strive to create equilibrium in all areas of life — especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

Spiritually Ofun Meji means Infinity and Timelessness meaning eternity and agelessness. In Eccl 3:9-11, King Solomon said; “What profit has the worker from that in which he labours? I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.” Everything for anyone born between April 20 – May 20 is endless no wonder they are called Taurus. These individuals are more likely to take a six-hour bath, followed by a luxurious massage and decadent dessert spread. They are an earth sign represented by the bull. They are strong and hardworking. They enjoy relaxing in serene, bucolic environments surrounded by soft sounds, soothing aromas, and succulent flavours.

Spiritually Iwori Meji means Space. These individuals are the embodiment of knowledge and King Solomon described them well in Prov 2:10-14 when he said, “When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you, to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things, from those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness; who rejoice in doing evil, and delight in the perversity of the wicked”. He went further in Eccl 7:12 that, “For wisdom is a defence as money is a defence, but the excellence of knowledge is that wisdom gives life to those who have it.” Individuals born between November 22 to December 21 are known to be Sagittarius. They are fire signs and their fire knows no bounds. They have an archer as their symbol, and they are always on a quest for knowledge. Individuals with this amazing personality launch their many pursuits like blazing arrows, chasing after geographical, intellectual, and spiritual adventures.

Spiritually, Oyeku Meji means the “Winter” season of life, the moments of sadness, heartbreak, loneliness, and sickness. In Nehemiah 2:1-2, Prophet Nehemiah said; “In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.” To every human being on the earth, there are always moments when there are matters arise both right, left and centre. Moments of sadness, heartbreak, loneliness, sickness. At such moments, our anchor should be the words of the Lord to Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 41:10-13 which says; “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Behold, all those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; they shall be as nothing, and those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them — those who contended with you. Those who war against you shall be as nothing, as a nonexistent thing. For I, the Lord your God will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.” Isn’t that wonderful? So amazing and refreshing.

The same is also known as “Matter” or “Head; seat of the conscious mind” which is the human brain; the very source of all of our thoughts. The part of us all that has conscious experiences. Jokingly I say to those who care to know around me that God gave us brains before He gave us Jesus Christ and the death of Jesus Christ gave us the Holy Spirit. Not everyone will accept the person of Jesus Christ and not everyone can possess the Holy Spirit. But everyone God had given a brain to. And the purpose of giving it was for us to use it to better our lives. If our lives as individuals are not getting better, it is because we have made zero use of our brains. The brain is a complex organ that controls our thoughts, memory, emotions, touch, motor skills, vision, breathing, temperature, hunger and every process that regulates our body. Together, the brain and spinal cord that extend from it make up the central nervous system or CNS. This means, that without the proper functioning of the brain, the human spinal cord cannot work as it should and without effective functioning of the spinal cord, the whole human body cannot function effectively. So also, without the proper and effective functioning of the brain, no human life can progress. Trust me on this, religion has damaged human brains, especially in Africa.

The first thing the brain takes care of in the body is our thoughts before our memory, emotions, touch, motor skills, vision, breathing, temperature, hunger and every process that regulates our body. Thoughts simply means opinions, views, feelings, judgments and beliefs. These five points look simple but in fact, they are deadly to human lives if violating their importance. Opinions are also known as ideas. In 2 Sam 7:1-16 King David nurtured an idea in his brain to build God a house, he did not tell Prophet Nathan that he wanted to build God a house, but God saw his heart and in intents of his heart and He said to Nathan, “Go and tell My servant David, ‘Thus says the Lord: “Would you build a house for Me to dwell in? For I have not dwelt in a house since the time that I brought the children of Israel up from Egypt, even to this day, but have moved about in a tent and a tabernacle. “When your days are fulfilled and you rest with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who will come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his Father, and he shall be My son. If he commits iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men and with the blows of the sons of men. But My mercy shall not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I removed from before you. And your house and your kingdom shall be established forever before you. Your throne shall be established forever.” Our thoughts towards God and humanity determine our actions towards them. What we feel and how we feel about God and humanity is determined by how judgmental we are towards them and our beliefs about them.

Spiritually Irete Meji means Personal Time, discrete and continuous. This is one thing most people in the world are lacking; personal time either with God, themselves or with their family. Time and time again, the bible talks about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob being on the field alone by themselves. The same pattern was said of Jesus Christ in Mark 1:35; “Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place, and there He prayed.” We don’t have to have personal time to pray alone, we can also use the same personal time to meditate and engage in critical thinking regarding our lives, what we do, marriage, finances and several more. Anyone born between December 22 – January 19 has time as their most valuable resource and they are called Capricorn. They are of the habit of climbing the mountain straight to the top; they are well informed that patience, perseverance, and dedication are the only way to scale. They are known for their sea-goat symbol, a mythological creature with the body of a goat and the tail of a fish. This personality is skilled at navigating both the material and emotional realms.

Spiritually Osa Meji means Non-Material Space; meaning, not involving, seeking, or primarily concerned with riches or material things; involving or concerned with the spiritual, intellectual, or cultural aspects of life. In Mark 4:13-20 Jesus Christ said, “Do you not understand this parable? How then will you understand all the parables? The sower sows the word. And these are the ones by the wayside where the word is sown. When they hear, Satan comes immediately and takes away the word that was sown in their hearts. These likewise are the ones sown on stony ground who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with gladness; and they have no root in themselves, and so endure only for a time. Afterwards, when tribulation or persecution arises for the word’s sake, immediately they stumble. Now these are the ones sown among thorns; they are the ones who hear the word, and the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. But these are the ones sown on good ground, those who hear the word, accept it, and bear fruit: some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some a hundred.” The last category set of individuals Jesus Christ made mentioned here are the “Non-Material Space” personalities, they are the individuals born between January 20 to February 18 known as “Aquarius”. Innovative, progressive, and shamelessly revolutionary. They have the water bearer as their symbol, the mystical healer who bestows water, or life, upon the land. They are the most humanitarian prophetic sign; dedicated to making the world a better place.

Spiritually Otua Meji means Solar Time, meaning the time measured by Earth’s rotation relative to the sun. These personalities are the individuals born between February 19 to March 20 known to be Pisces. They are the embodiment of the words of King David in Ps 113 that says; “Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord! Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and forevermore! From the rising of the sun to its going down the Lord’s name is to be praised. The Lord is high above all nations, His glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God, who dwells on high, who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and the earth? He raises the poor out of the dust and lifts the needy out of the ash heap, that He may seat him with princes — with the princes of His people. He grants the barren woman a home, like a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!” Pisces is the most intuitive, sensitive, and empathetic. They can absorb every lesson life throws at them; the joys and the pain, the hopes and the fears; their capacity to learn from others is unimaginable. Their symbol is two fish swimming in opposite directions, which means they are constantly dividing attention between fantasy and reality.

Spiritually Odi Meji means “Spring” meaning “hope, new beginnings, opportunities. In the bible, several things were said regarding hope, new beginnings, and opportunities that are necessary for us to explore. HOPE: “For when God made a promise to Abraham because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.” And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise. For men indeed swear by the greater, and an oath for confirmation is for them an end of all dispute. Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath, that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek. Heb 6:13-20”

NEW BEGINNINGS: “Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The beast of the field will honour Me, the jackals and the ostriches, because I give waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, to give drink to My people, My chosen. This people I have formed for Myself; they shall declare My praise. Isa 43:19-21”

OPPORTUNITIES also means “chances”. “The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favour to men of skill, but time and chance happen to them all. Eccl 9:11”

The same is also known as “Time” and “Body”. Time is useless when there is no one to put time into proper use. In Eccl 3:1-8 King Solomon said; “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” Without time humanity is useless and without man’s ability to put time into proper use, time itself is useless. As it was “appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment” according to Heb 9:27-28; so it was also appointed for men to live once within a space of time. The question then is, what are we doing with our time while we live?

Spiritually Ogunda Meji means Material Space, meaning the measures of the retardation of material time (i.e. age of the particles) concerning the external time parameter along particular trajectories. The word “retardation” means delay, obstruction, hindrance, impedance, or obstacle. These are challenges of life one must face and overcome and the individuals born between March 21 to April 19 known to be “Aries” are born with the innate ability to overcome challenges of life; the very reasons why they are no strangers to competition. They are bold and ambitious, they dive headfirst into even the most challenging situations—and they’ll make sure they always come out on top! Less I forget, they love to be number one.

Spiritually Ose Meji means Social Time typically anything people commonly do throughout their lives. The larger percentage of religious people don’t have social time to talk about social life. Their lives are confined within the space of their house, work and religious activities and this is one major reason why their success, achievement and progress are limited. The majority disassociated themselves from anyone who is not of the same religion and believed with them even when Jesus Christ said in Luke 16:9; “make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail, they may receive you into an everlasting home.” Another translation says; “make friends for yourselves with worldly wealth, so that when it gives out, you will be welcomed in the eternal home.” Individuals born between October 23 – November 21 are known to be Scorpio; very elusive and mysterious personalities. They are often misunderstood. Scorpio is a water sign that uses emotional energy as fuel, cultivating powerful wisdom through both the physical and unseen realms. These personality individuals derive their extraordinary courage from their psychic abilities, which is what makes them one of the most complicated, dynamic personalities.

Spiritually Otuurupon Meji is Human made Space meaning the end of life, the moment one takes a final bow and wishes the earth a happy ending. In life, we know who gave birth to us but none of us know who is going to bury us when we breathe our last breath and close our eyes in death. Individuals born between May 21 to June 20 are known to be Gemini; finding purpose in life and fulfilling the same are the only thing that counts to them. They are the embodiment of the word of Christ in John 4:34-37 where Jesus said; “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work. Do you not say, ‘There are still four months and then comes the harvest’? Behold, I say to you, lift your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest! And he who reaps receives wages, and gathers fruit for eternal life, that both he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. For in this, the saying is true: ‘One sows and another reaps.” They are so busy with life that they wish they could clone themselves just to get everything done. Individuals with this personality are spontaneous, playful, and adorably erratic, they are driven by their insatiable curiosity. The very reason why their symbol is the celestial twins; they are usually interested in so many pursuits that it had to double itself.

 •  Pastor Sam Adeoye lives in Lagos.

The post THE FORCES appeared first on Sunrise News.

Prayer in Yoruba

Ori e, o nigbabode,

Eleda e o nisise

Iseda e o nisonu.

Abaniniayo je konimoile e

Oriburukukoni je ti e

Ogo aye e o niw’omi

Ni awujoawonolorirewa-ba won pe

War’owo mu lo s’enu

O ni wo akisakeyinAso

O nitoro’je

O nitoro’mu

O nitoro’na

O nitoro’lo

O ni wo owoomolakejiko to jeun

O tiri be,

O ti se be

Ni AseEdumare

Prayer in English

Your glory will not attract evil,

Your destiny will not end up in mishaps

You will not miss your purpose in life

Destiny destroyers will not locate you

Misfortunes are not your portion

Your glory will not be wasted

You will be numbered among the high and mighty in the land

You will never lack what to eat or drink

Your life and destiny will not end in wearing rags

You will not beg before you eat a choice meal

You will not beg before you take precious wine

You will not beg before you spend on yourself

You will not beg before you have all you need

You will not look up to your neighbours before you eat

It is done

It is established

In the mighty name of God

I took my time to pray for you because what I’m about to share with us is something vital information about our lives that the majority of us are not aware and to a larger extent, we’d ignorantly use religion to further destroy ourselves and rather than us finding purpose in life and fulfilling destiny, we are busy chasing a mansion in heaven and how we are going to live in the mansion just because of what Jesus Christ said in John 14:2-4 saying; “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” Forgetting that Jesus was not talking to the Christians, neither was He talking to the entire world but to the very people He was sent to.

Even though it is okay for us all to believe in Jesus Christ, the truth is, that Jesus Christ was not sent to the whole world. Jesus Christ was sent only to the children of Israel, and this He made clear in Matt 15:24 saying; “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”. And please, don’t tell me you are a spiritual Israelite. That is stupidity and ignorance because there are no tribes, colour or nationality in the spiritual world. Neither is there Male or Female. We are all equal before God.

Jesus was so particular about the people He was sent to and this He also established in Matt 10:5-6 where it was recorded that; “These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying: “Do not go into the way of the Gentiles, and do not enter a city of the Samaritans. But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” To further prove this, in Matt 15:21-27 it was recorded that; “Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.” But He answered her, not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.” But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Then she came and worshipped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” But He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Here was Jesus Christ rejecting someone who was not an Israelite, calling the person a dog. How will you feel if someone calls you a dog? This is what happens when the purpose is not known and destiny is averted. May you not miss your purpose in life. May your destiny not be truncated. But in reality, this is what religion has done to so many lives.

Religion had made the majority of us to be heavenly-minded and earthly useless. The mansion Jesus was referring to was not for the whole world or for everyone who believed in Him. The mansion he was referring to is for Him and His Twelve Disciples and this was so to make up for the Twenty Four Elders which are the Twelve Tribes of Israel and the Twelve Disciples of Jesus Christ. Apostle John made mentioned them in Rev 4:4-5 saying; “Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and on the thrones I saw twenty-four elders sitting, clothed in white robes; and they had crowns of gold on their heads. 5 And from the throne proceeded lightnings, thunderings, and voices. Seven lamps of fire were burning before the throne, which are the seven Spirits of God.”

So, where exactly are we among them? King David said in Ps 115:16; “The heaven, even the heavens, are the Lord’s; but the earth He has given to the children of men.” Man has no business in heaven, the earth is the place for mankind and this fact was made known to us all first in 2 Peter 3:13 where Apostle Peter said; “Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. And Secondly where Apostle John said in Rev 21:1-4 that; “Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also, there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Now, every Apostle Peter and Apostle John said is just a confirmation of what Prophet Isaiah had said in Isaiah 65:17-19 saying; “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; and the former shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; for behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, and her people a joy. I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and joy in My people; the voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, nor the voice of crying.” The same he repeated in Isaiah 66:22-23 saying; “For as the new heavens and the new earth which I will make shall remain before Me,” says the Lord, “So shall your descendants and your name remain. And it shall come to pass that from one New Moon to another, and from one Sabbath to another, all flesh shall come to worship before Me,” says the Lord.”

So, if you are thinking of going to heaven before now, then have a rethink. We have no business in heaven. The earth is where we all belong to. We are not the ones going to heaven to be with the Lord, it is the Lord that is coming to the earth to live among us. But what will the earth be like for us then when in the present we don’t know what our purpose is in life and to fulfil destiny is impossible? Without knowing what our purpose is in life, fulfilling destiny becomes a thing of walking in the dark with our eyes closed.

“Eleda” is a Yoruba word that means “destiny” or “fate.” In Yoruba culture and religion, Eleda is believed to be the guiding force that determines an individual’s path in life. It is often associated with one’s purpose, calling, or ultimate destiny. In Ps 31:3 King David said; “For You are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for Your name’s sake, lead me and guide me.” Even though the Bible made us believe that it was God King David was referring to, in the actual context, it was a self-assurance and declaration of his faith in the things God had destined him to accomplish. Let me remind you that King David was a traditional/cultural man, not a religious man. He was never a Christian or a Muslim and yet we all have his name boldly written in our religious books and we are proud to either call him David or Dauda and yet he never practice any of the faith.

Destiny is the predetermined course of events in a person’s life that is believed to be controlled by a higher power or fate. It is the idea that certain events or outcomes are meant to happen and cannot be changed or altered. Some people believe that destiny is predetermined and that everything that happens in their lives is part of a larger plan, while others believe that they have the power to shape their destiny through their choices and actions. Destiny is often associated with concepts such as fate, predestination, and providence.

This was very true in the life of Jesus as it was written in Isaiah 7:13-17; “Then he said, “Hear now, O house of David! Is it a small thing for you to weary men, but will you weary my God also? Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel. Curds and honey He shall eat, that He may know to refuse the evil and choose the good. For before the Child shall know to refuse the evil and choose the good, the land that you dread will be forsaken by both her kings. The Lord will bring the king of Assyria upon you and your people and your father’s house — days that have not come since the day that Ephraim departed from Judah.” What was said in Isaiah became a reality in Matt 1:18-23 where it was recorded that; “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

The same happened with Samson. Every human life is predetermined the problem is that the majority of us don’t know what was predetermined and predestined for us; so we live our lives on maybe, maybe not. Second guessing what life should be for us. To the majority of us, life had become a thing of a directionless man directing others how to live their lives and what to do with their lives because of the virtue of his position either as a religious leader, politician, businessman or parent. Life had become to us all what Jesus Christ said in Matt 15:14; “They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch.” This is the fate of many of us. The majority of us are in the ditch of life and if we don’t come out of it as quickly as we could, that could be our end.

Human destiny can be the same in the sense that certain events or outcomes may be predetermined or guided by a higher power or fate. However, human destiny can also be different for each individual, as people can make choices and take actions that can influence their path in life just as King Saul did and the Kingdom was taken from him. Some believe that destiny is fixed and unchangeable, while others believe that individuals have the power to shape their destiny through their decisions and behaviours. Ultimately, the concept of human destiny is complex and can be interpreted in different ways depending on one’s beliefs and perspective.

The choice of religion can certainly have an impact on a person’s beliefs, values, and worldview, which in turn can influence their decisions, actions, and ultimately their destiny. Different religions offer different teachings, moral guidelines, and perspectives on life, death, and the afterlife, which can shape how individuals perceive their purpose and meaning in the world. However, too much attention of religious practices that hinder us from our eternal purpose here on earth.

I strongly believe that God did not create any human being or send anyone into the world all for the sake of religion. Religion is what we are born into purpose and destiny is what we are born with as far as I can tell, our purpose and destiny supersede any religion and this Jesus made clear when He said in John 4:34; “Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.” Another translation says; “Jesus said, “The food that keeps me going is that I do the will of the One who sent me, finishing the work he started.” Another translation also says; “My food,” Jesus said to them, “is to obey the will of the one who sent me and to finish the work he gave me to do.” Meaning His food is to do what had been predetermined and predestined of Him. The same should be our attitudes and not the religion we so believed in and yet makes no difference in our lives except to prepare us for heaven.

Some religions believe in the concept of predestination, where one’s destiny is predetermined by a higher power, while others emphasize free will and the ability to make choices that can shape one’s destiny. The beliefs and practices of a particular religion can also influence a person’s behaviour, relationships, and overall life path.

Ultimately, the impact of religion on human destiny is a complex and deeply personal matter, as individuals may interpret and practice their faith in different ways that can shape their beliefs about destiny and the course of their lives.

The Importance of destiny versus religion is subjective and can vary depending on individual beliefs and perspectives. For some people, destiny may hold greater significance as it is seen as the predetermined course of events that shape one’s life and ultimate purpose. Others may prioritize religion as a guiding force that provides moral and spiritual guidance, a sense of community, and a connection to a higher power.

Both destiny and religion can play significant roles in shaping a person’s beliefs, values, and actions. Some individuals may find comfort and meaning in the idea of destiny, while others may derive fulfilment and purpose from their religious beliefs and practices. Ultimately, the importance of destiny versus religion is a personal matter that can vary greatly from person to person.

The concept of religion and destiny can be intertwined in complex ways, and whether religion can “destroy” destiny is a matter of interpretation and belief. Some religious beliefs may emphasize the idea of predestination or a predetermined fate, while others may emphasize free will and the ability to shape one’s destiny through choices and actions. We have such an example in the persons of Rahab the harlot who kept the children of Israel safe when they went to spire the city of Jericho and her choice led to her marriage to Salmon one of the spires and in Matt 1:5-6 it was said that “Salmon begot Boaz by Rahab, Boaz begot Obed by Ruth, Obed begot Jesse, and Jesse begot David the King…and David the King begot Jesus Christ all because of the choice Rahab made to help the spires in resulted in her becoming a married from being a prostitute, the choice Ruth made to remain a daughter to Naomi her late husband’s mother and listen to Naomi’s advice that changed her status from being a widow to becoming a wife and a mother; the same choice the religion and the religious mindsets of our generation will call satanic or evil.

In Ruth 3:1-18, Ruth 4:13-17 it was recorded that; “Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you? Now Boaz, whose young woman you were with, is he not our relative? He is winnowing barely tonight on the threshing floor. Therefore wash yourself and anoint yourself, put on your best garment and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. Then it shall be, when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies; and you shall go in, uncover his feet, and lie down; and he will tell you what you should do.” And she said to her, “All that you say to me I will do.” So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law instructed her. And after Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was cheerful, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain; and she came softly, uncovered his feet, and lay down.

Now it happened at midnight that the man was startled, and turned himself; and there, a woman was lying at his feet. And he said, “Who are you?” So she answered, “I am Ruth, your maidservant. Take your maidservant under your wing, for you are a close relative.” Then he said, “Blessed are you of the Lord, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman. Now it is true that I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I. Stay this night, and in the morning it shall be that if he will perform the duty of a close relative for you — good; let him do it. But if he does not want to perform the duty for you, then I will perform the duty for you, as the Lord lives! Lie down until morning.”

So she lay at his feet until morning, and she arose before one could recognize another. Then he said, “Do not let it be known that the woman came to the threshing floor.” Also, he said, “Bring the shawl that is on you and hold it.” And when she held it, he measured six Ephahs of barley and laid it on her. Then she went into the city. When she came to her mother-in-law, she said, “Is that you, my daughter?” Then she told her all that the man had done for her. And she said, “These six ephahs of barley he gave me; for he said to me, ‘Do not go empty-handed to your mother-in-law.'” Then she said, “Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.”

So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went into her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel! And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him.” Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her bosom, and became a nurse to him. Also, the neighbour woman gave him a name, saying, “There is a son born to Naomi.” And they called his name Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David.”

The choices we make can lead to the unfolding of our purpose and destiny in life. Until the purpose is known, destiny becomes unattainable. And this is one major reason why the declaration of self-assurance of King David in Ps 31:3 that says; “For You are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for Your name’s sake, lead me and guide me” is very important for us all. We cannot leave our impacts on the footprint of life if our purpose is not known and our destiny is fulfilled.

In some cases, strict adherence to certain religious teachings or practices may limit an individual’s ability to make choices that could potentially alter their destiny. For example, if a person believes that their destiny is entirely predetermined by a higher power and they must follow a specific set of rules or guidelines, they may feel constrained in their ability to make decisions that could lead to a different outcome. King David broke so many laws Prophet Moses set for the children of Israel and yet God never because of reversed His decisions regarding him or destroyed him. Instead, God made a covenant with King David based on the choice King David made in 2 Sam 7:1-17; “Now it came to pass when the king was dwelling in his house, and the Lord had given him rest from all his enemies all around, that the king said to Nathan the prophet, “See now, I dwell in a house of cedar, but the ark of God dwells inside tent curtains.” Then Nathan said to the king, “Go, do all that is in your heart, for the Lord is with you.” But it happened that night that the word of the Lord came to Nathan, saying, “Go and tell My servant David, ‘Thus says the Lord: “Would you build a house for Me to dwell in? For I have not dwelt in a house since the time that I brought the children of Israel up from Egypt, even to this day, but have moved about in a tent and a tabernacle. Wherever I have moved about with all the children of Israel, have I ever spoken a word to anyone from the tribes of Israel, whom I commanded to shepherd My people Israel, saying, ‘Why have you not built Me a house of cedar?'”‘ Now therefore, thus shall you say to My servant David, ‘Thus says the Lord of hosts: “I took you from the sheepfold, from following the sheep, to be ruler over My people, over Israel. And I have been with you wherever you have gone, and have cut off all your enemies from before you, and have made you a great name, like the name of the great men who are on the earth. Moreover, I will appoint a place for My people Israel, and will plant them, that they may dwell in a place of their own and move no more; nor shall the sons of wickedness oppress them anymore, as previously, since the time that I commanded judges to be over My people Israel, and have caused you to rest from all your enemies. Also, the Lord tells you that He will make you a house. “When your days are fulfilled and you rest with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who will come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his Father, and he shall be My son. If he commits iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men and with the blows of the sons of men. But My mercy shall not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I removed from before you. And your house and your kingdom shall be established forever before you. Your throne shall be established forever.” According to all these words and according to all this vision, so Nathan spoke to David.” 

On the other hand, religion can also provide individuals with a sense of purpose, guidance, and moral framework that can help them navigate life’s challenges and make choices that align with their values and beliefs. Ultimately, the relationship between religion and destiny is complex and can vary depending on individual beliefs and interpretations.

It is important to make clear that a human destiny can potentially contradict certain religious doctrines. Religion often provides guidelines and beliefs about the purpose and meaning of life, as well as the afterlife and moral conduct. However, individuals may have their own beliefs, values, and experiences that may not align with the teachings of a particular religion. This can lead to conflicts between personal beliefs and religious doctrines, resulting in a contradiction in one’s perceived destiny. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to reconcile these differences and determine their path in life.

Thank you

Sam Adeoye

April 13, 2024

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