By Samuel Omolola Edema
Some people came to ask this all important question: how to honestly start a new relationship, especially as half of the year has been spent, what are the basics that is expected of one willing to start a new relationship. As we gradually roll into the year, so many of us are looking for new relationships, have high hopes and more importantly are ready to walk the talk! If you are one, then this is for you… but first, this is a follow up to our #DatingSkills Series… in case you are unaware of this click this link
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2726216117694836/permalink/2745056135810834/
Starting a new relationship actually starts with you… we have said this a billion times and we will say it again… having to start a new relationship that can lead to marriage sincerely starts with you. So let’s look at starting a new relationship like cooking a new big bowl of soup with all the recipes, here are the basics.
Are You Ready And Willing?
Let’s say this as the pot! You need to wash your pot and get it ready for your new soup, in this case, you are the pot! Before you think of starting a new relationship, have you overcome your past hurts? Or are you just going into a relationship so as not to be alone and lonely? So you must be happy within yourself and have a positive mindset. You must have forgiven the person that hurt you and even forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.
Show Love, Commitment and Faith
Now this is the primary ingredient, the paper, oil and what have you… Do you have these ingredients ready? Are you really ready to show some love, be committed in the relationship and have faith that all things being equal, the relationship will work out? You are not going to be telling your partner that you don’t care if the relationship works or not… you are not going to be saying negative things . No, that is not expected. Create the time that is needed for the relationship to survive, talk often, share details… be willing to do more.
Have Realistic Expectations
Here is the meat, fish, pomo and other major additions to our pot of soup…For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally, mentally and financially strong. Your expectations may differ at the beginning but you must align them to achieve your desired goals.. So, be realistic about situations. State clearly your expectations and know as much as possible what your partner wants from you… more importantly, be sure you can both meet each other’s needs, wants and desires… if you don’t want sex in your relationship, state it clearly.
Don’t Talk About The Future Or Create Needless Fear Prematurely
This is like the additional ingredients where you add salt to taste, seasoning and the rest. When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner under pressure. You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship.
Again, don’t start a new relationship with all the fears of failing marriages and unhappy couples… it’s okay to have your fears just as you have your hopes, but keep them to yourself, as rightly mentioned above, be positive, have faith!
Enjoy Moments While It Last
Okay, you may not want to hear this, but not every relationship will end in marriage! So while you are in this new relationship, enjoy the moment. Create beautiful times together. Discover your partner and be open as much as possible. Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the shine of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner. The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present.
Communicate Effectively
Effective communication in a new relationship can be a big deal, as you are learning how best to talk and understand each other… While we have different communication skills, it is important you learn how you relate and communicate effectively with your partner… if they are not the talking type, understand that long conversation may not work well. So listen more and create conducive situation to encourage talking. Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.
It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times. It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.
Are you just starting a new relationship? What are your challenges? What are your fears? What are the surprises you are already getting? Share with us your previous or current experience, we love to read from you.
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Samuel Omolola Edema
Building Godly Relationships.
Samuel Omolola Edema is a certified relationship educator with over 10 years experience in counseling, and also the founder of ADAM & EVE community on Facebook. Adam and Eve, where we live, love, learn and share our opinions, knowledge and experience on Dating, Relationship and Marriage. Join us with this link
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