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MARRIAGE 102

Sam Adeoye

When I was much younger, I used to ask my parent that, if Jesus is the son of God, and God is the Father of Jesus, who then is the mother of Jesus? The only answer I ever got was, “Don’t try to unravel God’s mysteries”. I kept asking this question until some years back when I was studying and I came across two powerful scriptures…

a.         Matt 6:10, Your kingdom come. You will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

b.         Mark 12:25, For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

One could easily say that in heaven, there is no marriage, everyone lives like an angel in heaven as Jesus Christ said. Well, there is no clear answer to this when it comes to religion claims as it is a matter of personal belief and interpretation of religious teachings. Some religions and belief systems suggest that marriage is a sacred bond that continues into the afterlife, while others believe that relationships in heaven are different from those on Earth. Ultimately, it is up to individual interpretation and belief. Now, if everyone lives like an angel in heaven, how does the angel multiply in number?

In Gen 6:1-2, it was said; “Now it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose.” The truth is, the angels of the Lord that came to sleep with the daughters of Men never married the Ladies, they only slept with them. The idea of marrying someone properly never came into play until Abraham sent his servant to get a Wife for Isaac in Gen 24:1-10, 50-53; “Now Abraham was old, well advanced in age; and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. So Abraham said to the oldest servant of his house, who ruled over all that he had, “Please, put your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell; but you shall go to my country and my family, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” And the servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman will not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I take your son back to the land from which you came?” But Abraham said to him, “Beware that you do not take my son back there. The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, ‘To your descendants, I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. And if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be released from this oath; only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter. Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and departed, for all his master’s goods were in his hand. And he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor…Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, “The thing comes from the Lord; we cannot speak to you either bad or good. Here is Rebekah before you; take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.” And it came to pass, when Abraham’s servant heard their words, that he worshipped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth. Then the servant brought out jewellery of silver, jewellery of gold, and clothing, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave precious things to her brother and her mother.”

The concept of God not having a wife is rooted in various religious beliefs and interpretations. In many monotheistic religions, such as Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, God is often described as being singular, omnipotent, and transcendent, existing beyond human comprehension and earthly limitations. In these belief systems, God is seen as the ultimate creator and source of all existence and is not bound by human characteristics or relationships.

In Christianity, for example, God is often referred to as the Father and is believed to be a divine being who exists in a trinity of Father, Son (Jesus Christ), and Holy Spirit. The idea of God having a wife or partner is not part of traditional Christian theology.

Similarly, in Islam, God is believed to be singular and without partners, as stated in the Quran: “Say, ‘He is Allah, [who is] One, Allah, the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, nor is there to Him any equivalent’” (Quran 112:1-4).

In Judaism, the concept of God having a wife is not part of mainstream beliefs, as God is seen as the only divine being who created the universe and established a covenant with the Jewish people.

Overall, the idea of God not having a wife is based on the belief in a singular, transcendent, and omnipotent deity who exists beyond human relationships and earthly limitations. It is a fundamental aspect of many monotheistic religions and their understanding of the nature of God.

Now, the question of whether or not Jesus Christ had a wife is a topic of debate and speculation among scholars and theologians. In traditional Christian beliefs, Jesus is often portrayed as a celibate figure who devoted his life to his ministry and mission on Earth. There is no mention in the Bible or other canonical Christian texts of Jesus being married or having a wife.

The New Testament Gospels, which are the primary sources of information about the life and teachings of Jesus, do not provide any evidence or mention of Jesus being married. The focus of the Gospels is on Jesus’ teachings, miracles, crucifixion, and resurrection, rather than his personal relationships or marital status.

Some scholars and historians have suggested that Jesus may have been married, based on interpretations of certain non-canonical texts or historical evidence. For example, the discovery of the so-called “Gospel of Jesus’ Wife,” a fragmentary text that mentions the wife of Jesus, has sparked debate and controversy among scholars. However, the authenticity and interpretation of this text are still subject to scholarly scrutiny and debate.

Ultimately, the question of whether or not Jesus had a wife remains a matter of speculation and interpretation, as there is no definitive evidence or consensus on the issue. In traditional Christian beliefs, Jesus is revered as the Son of God and the saviour of humanity, regardless of his marital status. His teachings, actions, and sacrificial death are central to Christian faith and theology, rather than his relationships.

Love

In Love 1 Cor 13 Apostle Paul said; “Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.  Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, and I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now, we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Love in a marriage is a profound connection between two individuals that involves mutual respect, trust, understanding, and support. It is a commitment to each other’s well-being and happiness, and a willingness to work through challenges and difficulties together. Love in a marriage is about caring for each other, being there for each other in good times and bad, and continuously nurturing and strengthening the bond between partners. It involves communication, compromise, and a willingness to grow and evolve together as a couple. Love in a marriage is a partnership built on shared values, goals, and a deep emotional connection that sustains and enriches the relationship over time.

Submission

Again in Eph 5:21, Apostle Paul said; “submitting to one another in the fear of God.“ Submission in a marriage is a concept that can be interpreted in different ways depending on cultural, religious, and personal beliefs. In some traditional or religious contexts, submission may refer to the idea of one partner (often the wife) deferring to the other partner’s (often the husband’s) authority or decision-making. This can be based on the belief that the husband is the head of the household and the wife should be obedient and respectful towards him. Just as it was said in Eph 5:22-24 that; “Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.”

However, in modern relationships, the concept of submission is often viewed in a more egalitarian way. It can be seen as mutual respect and consideration for each other’s needs, feelings, and opinions. It involves listening to and valuing each other’s perspectives, making decisions together, and supporting each other in achieving individual and shared goals.

Ultimately, submission in a marriage should be based on mutual respect, trust, and communication, where both partners feel heard, valued, and supported in the relationship. It should not be about one partner exerting power or control over the other, but rather about working together as equals to build a strong and healthy partnership.

Finance

Finance in marriage refers to the management of money and financial resources within a marital relationship. It involves making decisions about income, expenses, savings, investments, and financial goals as a couple. Effective financial management is important in a marriage as it can impact the stability and well-being of the relationship.

Some key aspects of finance in marriage include:

1.         Budgeting: Creating a budget together to track income and expenses, prioritize spending, and save for future goals.

2.         Communication: Open and honest communication about financial matters, including income, debts, and financial goals.

3.         Joint or separate finances: Deciding whether to combine finances, keep them separate, or use a combination of both approaches.

4.         Financial goals: Setting and working towards common financial goals, such as buying a home, saving for retirement, or paying off debt.

5.         Financial roles: Determining who will be responsible for managing finances, paying bills, and making financial decisions within the marriage.

6.         Emergency fund: Establishing an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses or financial setbacks.

7.         Long-term planning: Planning for the future, including retirement savings, estate planning, and insurance coverage.

Dream

Couples need to have open and honest discussions about finances, set financial goals together, and work as a team to manage their money effectively to build a strong financial foundation for their marriage.

Dreams

In the context of marriage, a dream can refer to the shared aspirations, goals, and visions that a couple has for their life together. These dreams can encompass a wide range of areas, including personal growth, family, career, lifestyle, and more. Having shared dreams in a marriage can help strengthen the bond between partners and provide a sense of purpose and direction in their relationship.

Some common examples of dreams in a marriage may include:

1. Building a happy and healthy family together.

2. Achieving financial stability and security.

3. Advancing in careers and supporting each other’s professional goals.

4. Traveling and exploring new places together.

5. Owning a home or starting a business.

6. Making a positive impact in the community or society.

7. Growing old together and enjoying a fulfilling retirement.

Having shared dreams in a marriage can help couples stay connected, motivated, and focused on working together towards a common vision for their future. It can also provide a sense of unity and purpose in the relationship, as partners support each other in pursuing their individual and shared dreams.

Vision

In the context of marriage, a vision refers to the shared goals, values, and aspirations that a couple has for their relationship and future together. It involves creating a clear picture of what they want their marriage to look like and the direction in which they want to grow as a couple. A shared vision in a marriage can provide a sense of purpose, unity, and motivation for both partners to work towards common goals and build a strong and fulfilling relationship.

Some key aspects of a vision in a marriage may include:

1.         Shared values: Identifying and aligning core values that will guide decision-making and behaviour within the relationship.

2.         Relationship goals: Setting goals for the relationship, such as communication, intimacy, trust, and support, and working together to achieve them.

3.         Personal growth: Supporting each other’s personal growth and development, both individually and as a couple.

4.         Family planning: Discussing and planning for important milestones such as starting a family, raising children, and supporting each other as parents.

5.         Financial goals: Setting financial goals and plans for the future, such as saving for a home, retirement, or other shared expenses.

6.         Lifestyle choices: Making decisions about lifestyle preferences, such as where to live, how to spend free time, and how to balance work and personal life.

Having a shared vision in a marriage can help couples stay connected, motivated, and focused on building a strong and fulfilling relationship. It provides a roadmap for the future, guiding partners in making decisions that align with their shared goals and values. Communication, collaboration, and mutual support are key in creating and maintaining a shared vision in a marriage.

In-laws

Treating in-laws in a marriage with respect, kindness, and understanding is important for maintaining healthy relationships and harmony within the family. Here are some tips on how to navigate relationships with in-laws in a marriage:

1.         Communicate openly and respectfully: Effective communication is key to building positive relationships with in-laws. Be open, honest, and respectful in your interactions, and make an effort to listen to their perspectives and concerns.

2.         Set boundaries: It’s important to establish boundaries with in-laws to maintain a healthy balance in your relationships. Communicate your expectations and limits, and be willing to assert yourself if necessary.

3.         Show appreciation and gratitude: Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your in-laws can go a long way in fostering positive relationships. Show them kindness, respect, and consideration, and acknowledge their efforts and contributions to your family.

4.         Be inclusive: Make an effort to include your in-laws in family activities and events, and involve them in decision-making processes when appropriate. This can help strengthen your bond and create a sense of unity within the family.

5.         Respect differences: Recognize that your in-laws may have different beliefs, values, and traditions than your own. Be respectful of their perspectives and cultural backgrounds, and try to find common ground to build understanding and acceptance.

6.         Seek support: If you’re facing challenges in your relationships with in-laws, don’t hesitate to seek support from your partner, a trusted friend, or a therapist. Having a support system can help you navigate difficult situations and find constructive ways to address conflicts.

Overall, treating in-laws with kindness, respect, and understanding can help foster positive relationships and create a supportive and harmonious family environment. By maintaining open communication, setting boundaries, and showing appreciation, you can build strong and lasting connections with your in-laws in your marriage.

Children

Handling children in a marriage involves effective communication, teamwork, and a shared commitment to parenting. Here are some tips on how to navigate parenting together in a marriage:

1.         Communicate openly: Regular communication with your partner about parenting goals, strategies, and concerns is essential for successful co-parenting. Discuss your parenting styles, values, and expectations, and work together to create a unified approach to raising your children.

2.         Set boundaries and rules: Establish clear boundaries and rules for your children to create a structured and consistent environment. Consistency in discipline and expectations can help children feel secure and understand the consequences of their actions.

3.         Support each other: Show support and solidarity with your partner in front of your children, even if you disagree on certain parenting decisions. Presenting a united front can help reinforce your authority and prevent children from playing one parent against the other.

4.         Share responsibilities: Divide parenting responsibilities fairly between you and your partner, taking into account each other’s strengths and preferences. Collaborate on tasks such as childcare, household chores, and school activities to share the workload and prevent one partner from feeling overwhelmed.

5.         Prioritize quality time: Make time for one-on-one interactions with your children to strengthen your bond and create lasting memories. Engage in activities that promote positive communication, trust, and emotional connection with your children.

6.         Seek support: Parenting can be challenging, and it’s okay to seek help and guidance when needed. Consider attending parenting classes, reading books on child development, or seeking advice from a therapist or counsellor to improve your parenting skills and address any concerns.

7.         Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for being a patient, attentive, and supportive parent. Prioritize self-care activities, such as exercise, relaxation, and hobbies, to recharge and maintain your well-being while juggling the demands of parenting.

By working together, communicating effectively, and prioritizing your children’s well-being, you can create a nurturing and loving environment for your family and strengthen your bond as a couple in your marriage.

Bills

In a marriage, the responsibility for paying bills and managing finances can vary depending on the couple’s circumstances and preferences. Here are some common approaches to handling finances in a marriage:

1.         Joint finances: Many couples choose to combine their finances and share responsibility for paying bills and managing expenses. This can involve having a joint bank account for household expenses, such as rent or mortgage payments, utilities, groceries, and other shared costs.

2.         Splitting expenses: Some couples prefer to split expenses evenly or based on each partner’s income. This can involve dividing bills proportionally, with each partner contributing a certain percentage of their income towards shared expenses.

3.         Individual finances: In some marriages, each partner may prefer to maintain separate bank accounts and handle their expenses independently. In this case, couples may choose to split bills based on individual incomes or take turns covering certain expenses.

4.         Combination of joint and individual finances: Some couples opt for a combination of joint and individual finances, where they have a joint account for shared expenses and separate accounts for personal spending. This approach allows for financial independence while still maintaining transparency and collaboration in managing household finances.

Ultimately, the key to successfully managing finances in a marriage is open communication, mutual respect, and a shared understanding of each partner’s financial goals and responsibilities. Couples need to have regular discussions about money, budgeting, and long-term financial planning to ensure that both partners feel comfortable and secure in their financial partnership.

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