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LOVE ME NOW

Sam Adeoye

To survive in any spheres of life love is needed. Without love, no man can survive the tides of life no matter how smart or intelligent the person believes he/she is. Love is stronger than death and with it, one can overcome any challenges of life no matter what the situation might be. If love was to be sold in the market, I strongly believe that the seller would be the richest in the world. No wonder God is the most sought-after in the world. No wonder Apostle John said in 1 John 4:7-21 that; “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us because he has given us his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he is in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.“

The only way to progress in life and make our world a better place for all is to love and love people genuinely. Love is an intense feeling of affection towards someone or something. It can refer to a romantic or emotional bond between people, as well as a strong attachment and care for others. Love is often associated with feelings of happiness, warmth, companionship, and a desire to support and uplift those we care about. It is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can vary in intensity and form depending on the individual and the relationship.

God’s love is often described as a pure, unconditional, and perfect love that transcends human comprehension. It is believed by many religious traditions that God’s love is all-encompassing, ever-lasting, and unchanging. This love is seen as sacrosanct and a powerful force that guides and illuminates the lives of believers. In Christian theology, it is believed that God’s love led Him to send His son Jesus Christ to die for the sins of humanity and offer salvation to all who believe in Him. God’s love is seen as timeless, forgiving, and merciful, and serves as a source of hope, comfort, and strength for those seeking solace and spiritual guidance.

Traditionally, there are several types of love identified in philosophy, psychology, and literature:

Eros: This is romantic or passionate love, characterized by desire and deep emotional connection between partners. In Greek mythology, Eros is the god of love and represents a passionate and intense form of love often associated with physical attraction, sensual desire, and romantic relationships. Eros, which is also known as “erotic” love, is characterized by a strong emotional connection and longing for intimacy with another person. It involves desire, excitement, and the yearning to be physically close to the object of one’s affection. Additionally, Eros is commonly portrayed as leading to deep emotional bonds and relationships as it involves both a physical and emotional connection between partners.

Philia: This type of love refers to deep friendship and camaraderie between people, based on mutual respect, loyalty, and trust. Philia is a concept of love in Greek philosophy that refers to the deep friendship and affection shared between friends. It is based on mutual respect, trust, companionship, and loyalty, rather than romantic or physical attraction. Philia love is often considered a more stable and enduring form of love that involves shared experiences, support, and meaningful communication between individuals. This type of love is valued for its ability to foster personal growth, communication, and emotional connection in relationships outside of romantic or familial contexts.

Ludus: Ludic love is playful and flirtatious love, often found among younger individuals who engage in innocent flirting and enjoy light-hearted relationships. Ludus love is a type of love characterized by a playful and carefree nature. It is often seen as immature or superficial compared to other types of love. In Ludus relationships, partners may enjoy competition, teasing, and other playful interactions. This type of love tends to focus more on having fun together rather than building a deep emotional connection.

Agape: Agape love is selfless and unconditional, associated with altruism, compassion, and universal love for all beings. Agape love is a selfless and unconditional love that puts the well-being and happiness of others above oneself. It is often associated with altruism, empathy, and compassion. Agape love is typically seen as the highest and noblest form of love, as it involves giving without expecting anything in return. This concept of love is commonly found in religious and spiritual teachings, promoting kindness, generosity, and understanding toward others.

Storge: This pertains to familial love or the natural affection and bond between family members. Storge love is a type of love that is based on similarities and familiarity. It is commonly associated with family relationships and close friendships, where individuals feel a sense of affection, comfort, and commitment toward each other. Storge love is often described as a natural, familiar, and peaceful love that deepens over time. Unlike other types of love that may involve passion or heightened emotions, storge love is more grounded and rooted in mutual respect, loyalty, and shared experiences.

Pragma: Pragmatic love involves long-term commitment and practical considerations in relationships, focusing on resolving issues and achieving mutual benefits. Pragma love is a practical and rational type of love characterized by compatibility, mutual respect, and shared goals. It often refers to relationships based on solid reasoning and long-term planning, where partners seek practical matters such as financial stability, social status, and lifestyle compatibility when choosing a partner. Pragma love values compatibility and self-discipline over passion or intense emotions and may involve a deliberate and thought-out approach to relationships. People who prioritize pragmatism in love may consciously seek partners who fulfil certain criteria or match particular preferences to build a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Philautia: Philautia, or self-love, refers to the healthy regard one has for oneself, promoting respect, care, and acceptance towards one’s well-being. Philautia is the ancient Greek concept of self-love or self-care. In modern terms, philautia encompasses love, acceptance, and care for oneself. It involves having a positive self-image, self-esteem, and self-respect, and prioritizing one’s well-being and happiness. Philautia is considered an important aspect of emotional health and personal growth.

Love can sometimes entail pain, but it ultimately should not outweigh the joy and happiness that it brings. It is normal to sometimes experience hurt or heartbreak in a relationship, but healthy love should bring more fulfilment and contentment than pain and suffering. In Lev 19:18 the Lord said “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Jesus Christ threw more light on this in Matt 5:43-48 saying; “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.“

There are many ways to love your neighbours and everyone around you.

Showing kindness and generosity: Look for opportunities to help your neighbours and offer support when needed. This could involve lending a helping hand with chores, offering to pick up groceries, or simply checking in to see how they are doing.

Building connections: Take the time to get to know your neighbours by striking up conversations, attending community events, or inviting them for coffee or a meal. Building relationships is key to fostering love and positive interactions.

Maintaining respect and empathy: Treat your neighbours with respect, understanding, and empathy. Be mindful of their feelings and boundaries, and try to see things from their perspective.

Contributing to the community: Volunteer your time and resources to improve your neighbourhood and create a better living environment for everyone. This could involve participating in community cleanup drives, donating to local charities, or helping to organize neighbourhood events.

Resolving conflicts respectfully: If conflicts arise with your neighbours, strive to address them calmly and respectfully. Communication and compromise are essential for resolving disputes and maintaining healthy relationships.

To the best of my knowledge, loving your neighbours means acting with kindness, compassion, and respect towards them, while also working together to create a supportive and harmonious community.

Loving your partner involves a combination of emotional connection, communication, respect, and effort. Here are some key ways to cultivate and demonstrate love for your partner:

Communicate openly and effectively: Share your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your partner and also listen actively to their perspectives. Effective communication is crucial for understanding each other and strengthening your relationship.

Show appreciation and affection: Express your love and gratitude through small gestures, words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of kindness. Let your partner know that you value and cherish them.

Support and respect each other. Be there for your partner in both good times and bad, offering encouragement, comfort, and reassurance when needed. Respect their boundaries, opinions, and independence.

Spend quality time together: Make time for regular date nights, shared activities, and meaningful conversations to nurture your bond and keep the emotional connection strong.

Work through challenges together. Address conflicts and disagreements constructively and respectfully, seeking mutually satisfying solutions. Learn from the challenges you face together and grow stronger as a couple.

Keep the spark alive: Maintain intimacy, passion, and fun in your relationship by being creative, spontaneous, and adventurous together. Continuously investing in moments of connection and laughter helps to reignite your love.

Ultimately, loving your partner is an ongoing process that requires commitment, understanding, and effort from both individuals. Being intentional about showing love, care, and appreciation for each other can help create a deep and enduring connection in your relationship.

The frequency In whichh you can forgive someone you love depends on the situation and the actions of the individual. Forgiveness is a personal choice and a complex process that can take time and emotional effort. While it is important to forgive to move forward and maintain a healthy relationship, it is also essential to set healthy boundaries and take care of yourself.

If someone you love repeatedly causes harm or continues to hurt you in a significant way, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship dynamic and seek support or professional guidance. Communicating openly about your feelings, expectations, and concerns with the individual can also help facilitate mutual understanding and growth.

Ultimately, forgiving someone you love is a deeply personal decision that can be influenced by factors such as trust, remorse, commitment to change, and respectful behaviour. It is essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and create boundaries that align with your values and needs. If forgiveness is no longer serving your greater well-being, it is acceptable to prioritize self-care and take necessary steps to protect yourself from potentially harmful situations.

Treating someone you love well involves showing them care, respect, kindness, empathy, and support. Here are some key ways to treat someone you love with kindness and consideration:

Communicate openly: Listen actively to understand their thoughts, feelings, and needs, and share your thoughts openly and honestly. Effective communication is essential for building a strong connection and fostering mutual understanding.

Show appreciation and gratitude: Express your love and appreciation through words, actions, and gestures that demonstrate your genuine affection. Thank them for their efforts, kindness, and presence in your life.

Respect and support their goals and dreams: Encourage and empower your loved one to pursue their passions, aspirations, and personal growth. Be their cheerleader, providing encouragement, understanding, and belief in their abilities.

Be compassionate and empathetic: Show empathy and compassion towards your loved one’s struggles, challenges, and emotions. Demonstrate understanding, patience, and sympathy when they are going through tough times.

Spend quality time together. Strengthen your bond by engaging in enjoyable and meaningful activities together, sharing experiences, and creating memories. Quality time builds connections and fosters intimacy in a relationship.

Show love through physical affection: Use physical touch, hugs, kisses, and non-verbal gestures to express your love and affection for your partner. Physical intimacy strengthens emotional connections and reinforces the relationship.

Prioritize their well-being and happiness: Consider your loved one’s needs, desires, and concerns, and make an effort to prioritize their well-being and happiness in the relationship. Be supportive and make decisions with their best interests in mind.

In general, treating someone you love well involves kindness, empathy, respect, and intentional efforts to nurture your relationship, deepen your emotional connection, and create a strong and lasting bond based on love and mutual understanding.

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