By Samuel Omolola Edema
Let’s just say, we all have had our fair share of dating disasters. Either by omission or commission, we, at some point, got stuck in the cycle of dating the same self-centred men or women, had our heart broken a few times and now you may even think dating or relationship is not for you… Come and read this… While we await the book… Improve Your Dating Skills.
First you have to love with some high level of intelligence… In today’s world, your heart, what you hear or the looks are no longer enough to fall in love… Well we don’t know if there was a time these things were ever enough…
With over 20 years experiences in the dating world, allowed us to reflect on the red flags we learnt the hard way… How to spot the ‘just not that into you’ body language signals and essentially date smarter.
During a recent research, we discovered a way for us to ensure, beyond reasonable doubt, we’re attracting a partner who is safe and genuinely has the right intentions.
We are now an international dating and relationship educator, (self praise is allowed). We have helped several friends, family and strangers to find love using clever techniques that can profile a person in under ten minutes and gauge whether they’re genuinely interested. In this regard we cannot over-emphasize the God Factor… Well we will explain this more in the book… For now, here are the top five body language signals to decode so you’ll always know if a date is or just isn’t that into you.
1. Blink rate
The easiest thing you can look out for when on date is blink rate. Regularity of blink rate can signal interest levels in your conversation. Don’t worry, you not literally counting how many times they’re blinking. It’s whether it’s little or often, is what you’re looking out for.
When we’re really interested, our blink rate goes down because we’re paying full attention. If you notice this happening, you’re saying things that resonate with them. If you’re speaking and your date’s blink rate is rising, this is a signal of disinterest or possibly stress.
2. Lip compressions
If your date’s squeezing their lips tight, it’s a signal they’re trying to keep their mouth shut and maybe withholding opinions. This doesn’t mean they’re a time waster, but it shows there’s some internal resistance and an area you may need to explore further… You can throw in a question like “do you want to say something?, to help them relax and possibly say something they initially was feeling like keeping
3. Artery protecting
A lot of body language signaling is subconscious and a dead giveaway. Take fear and stress, for instance, it prompts us to protect our arteries. When we feel threatened, even emotionally, we change our body to protect vulnerable areas, such as raising shoulders, arms pressing against the torso or fingers curling into the hand.
Equally, the opposite is true. When someone happy and responsive, their body will open to display physical vulnerability. If this is genuine, it’ll be paired with a decreased blink rate and slower movements, as stress makes us move quickly. Relaxation indicates comfort, which is a great sign your date is genuine.
4. Shrugging and hushing
A one-shoulder shrug really is what it sounds like – a shrug with one shoulder. This is an ace lie detector as it really shows ‘I don’t believe what I’m saying’. Equally, hushing can be a sign of deception. Watch out for gestures such as covering or touching the mouth, an indication they could really be hiding a lie.
5. Emotional mirroring
When you’re talking look out for empathy indicators. When you’re explaining something packed with high emotions, there should be a reflection on your date’s face of your emotion. If there isn’t, it may be proof there’s an absence of emotional connection.
Now you know these body language signals I hope these help you make an informed decision and know when a connection is really genuine. You’ll be able to pick up on things that truly interest your date and equally where there is stress and possible deception.
Don’t Ask If You Don’t Want The Truth!
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Don’t Ask If You Don’t Want The Truth!
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Samuel Omolola Edema
Building Godly Relationships.
